Server admins were deep into a 14-hour goon sesh and didn’t notice
She said wrong answers only
There was a hard drive failure, and they restored from a 2023 backup. The 9 hours of downtime was spent making 6 months’ worth of plausible-looking posts
WHO TOLD YOU?
DEI
i chewed through the servers power cable, nyaa~
It was the Eclipse.
The eclipsed blocked the solar panels powering the server
We really shouldn’t have put all our solar panels in an area precisely matching the trajectory of a solar eclipse seemingly moving across the Earth’s surface. was bound to catch up to us eventually
30-50 feral hogs headbutted the servers
Because Capitalism is actually the most efficient way of operating a website
He got his revenge.
DPRK officials be like "why don’t they like our cool photo "
I typed “Exxon Valdez NUTS” into the comment box and the site couldn’t handle my power level
Oh shit, I just did it again oh god oh fuck I don’t wanna touch the grass again nooooo
we banned all the liberals but then decided that you’re cool anyway
the servers got drunk celebrating the eclipse.
The mods & admins were trying in vain to stop future badposting from me.
They failed. Look out
A wizard did it.
That wizard?
He came from the moon.
I strongly believe in the benefits of going out, so I unplugged the site for awhile so you kids could play
Somebody wanted to torture me by taking away my Hexbear content on the very day Bluesky is having 100,000,000+ “like farming” posts about the goddamned eclipse.
Okay, whoever you are - I’m sorry for whatever I did. Please don’t do this to me again.