Make him smoke the entire pack of smarties
Why punish him? He’s showing you a fraction of how awful it is to live with a smoker. Take the hint, hug him and stay quit. -ex-smoker
I already took away the fortnite but he said that game sucks and is for zoomers. My son is 11.
Torture him by making him watch shows/movies with nudity on screen, while being in the same room.
If this is the route you want to take, go with 40 yr old virgin. Otherwise pick another movie that’ll give him 2nd hand embarrassment like Beverly Hills Ninja. Or, if he starts smoking weed, show him the good stuff and make him hit a fat ass dab (please use proper judgement, that shit can hurt and it feels like you can’t breathe if you fuck up)
There is no hell quite like seeing nudity or sex with your parents in the peripheral vision.
There really isn’t, it’s the worst(the best being the parent I suppose, probably unnerving if your child is oedipal to some degree, unless you’re from the South or royalty I suppose, careful lol)
Is your child watching you bend over? Stealing your underwear? Reading about the Hapsburgs? Know the warning signs.
Fr fr lmao
read a random NYT article with him
That’s torture.
Parenting Will Menaker style
Hug him and cherish him while he’s alive and tell him to never to do Glade plugins.
something tells me that the big smell industry is planting these trends
My quest for revenge against this vile industry began at my dead wife’s funeral when I found a rose mysteriously left at her freshly compacted burial plot with the note “If you seek justice, follow your nose.”
u fuckin wot mate
Pretend go to the store for a pack of cigarettes and come back in 10 years. That’ll show him.
You make him smoke that entire package of smarties in front of you.
Alternatively, it’s a bit outdated, but 1 day blinding stew.
Make him smoke an entire carton of cigarettes
EDIT: wait that’s a ton of money these days
Ah, fuck 't. That looks so relaxing, I’m lighting up again
go outside and mime smoking a cigarette. take deep breaths, hold in that fresh air, pretend to knock the ash off the the imaginary stick – really sell it; make your kid feel like he sabotaged your attempt to quit.
Develop a cough. Tell him you’re going to the doctor and come back with a grave expression. Tell him the doctor diagnosed you with lung cancer.
Traumatize your child for life
That’ll show that snotnosed little twerp
Have you been speaking to my mother? Because I sure haven’t.
Ruth is a real riot when you get to know her
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Make him start smoking. He’ll hate that in 50 years.
That’ll teach him
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I would reccomend filing a large class action lawsuit against smarties and also slap a large vice tax on the smarties.
based and smartie pilled
um akshually smarties are tablets, not pills
How could Mr. Softie do this!?
