I promise I am not a reactionary, but I am somewhat uneducated on the subject so I might say something offensive accidentally, sorry in advance about that.
So, does gender dysphoria stem from a disconnect between the body and some “gender socialization” function of the brain, which could be solved by getting socialized and treated by everyone as the correct gender from the start, or something that stems from a disconnect between the brain and the actual body parts and hormones, so the transition is needed to alleviate that, or both?
There is dysphoria that stems from being misgendered and deadnamed, but in my case there also absolutely is some kind of physical disconnect where my brain is just running on the wrong OS when i’m on testosterone. I’m gonna CW the following for extensive descriptions of dysphoria and some NSFW stuff.
spoiler
It just fucked with me in the most horrible ways to not be on estradiole, i did not have the emotional responses to be truly happy or to fully function as a social being. It’s as if i didn’t have real feelings at all before HRT. Interestingly, i know transmasc people, people who go in the polar opposite direction of my transition, who felt the same shallow affect pre-transition, so it isn’t just “well woman hormones make you more emotional”. Before transition, i also had the worst body horror imaginable, living with the man stench on me, being covered in coarse hair, feeling the stubble on my face, it was a pure nightmare. No matter if anybody saw me, or if people could notice any of that. My body was a prison cell, and only transitioning could change that.
Then there’s the fact that i do not have the correct genitals for the sex life i want. That’s in spite of my partner being trans herself, treating me with all the care and respect i need and knowing better than anybody else how to make me feel like a woman. No amount of empathy and gender affirming behavior can replace that i can’t get properly fingered rn, not even the skill of somebody who can beat me off and make it feel as if i already have a clit. There’s just something that i lack before i go under the knife. Sorry for being so blunt, it’s just very, very obvious that i need a pussy, that my genitals are in the wrong configuration and need to be turned inside out, in spite of me knowing perfectly well that unoperated trans girls are perfectly valid, cute and hot af.
Not all trans people need to medically transition. And you can’t fix dysphoria by medical means alone, the fact that i am now increasingly comfortable in my own skin is dependent on a lot of deep reflection about gender roles, my relationship to my body and a bunch of really deep, really affirming experiences with my friend with benefits as well as me being on HRT for almost a year and having made good headway with laser hair removal. This stuff needs work, no matter how well you pass and how hot you look. You got to get your head in the right place and learn to accept yourself, overcome internalized transphobia and mysogyny, understand that trans bodies are beautiful etc. etc. But when people have intense body related dysphoria, it’s completely impossible to fix that without any medical means.