Ranking street performers in order of hotness:

• Musician: 1/10, enough said.

• Statue Person: 2/10, I fear them but idk maybe that fear is more about me than them and I should probably be more open-minded.

• Clown: 5/10, it depends on their balloon animal game. I wouldn’t have sex with the dudes in Kiss, for instance, because they seem like the types of clowns to make a dog with a long neck and call it a giraffe. I can’t respect someone like that.

• Dance Troupe: 7/10, pretty hot but they lose a few points because there’s always the guy with the megaphone spitting one liners at you while they dance and I think they’re a package deal.

• Mime: 10/10, call the volcel police because I’m turning myself in. When they put me in that invisible cell, tell my wife I love her but she should have applied to mime college.

yeah i go on hexbear for the sophisticated political discourse

The most attractive woman I’ve ever dated had a side gig as a birthday clown. I never actually saw her in her outfit but she made me balloon animals a few times.

Been there, done that, got the squeaky nose. They’re just theatre kids. Admittedly this was more “Cirque du Solei” than “Birthday party”

i mean if anyone decided to fuck me they’ve already answered yes to this question so i might as well return the favor

as far as i’m concerned, anyone who would fuck me is a clown

Now I’m imagining like a whole sexual circus act, like she eats your ass and pulls a ten foot long string of handkerchiefs out of it, or she’s like “watch out I’m a squirter” and then blasts you in the face with an old timey bottle of seltzer

Wouldn’t fuck anyone

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I guess. I mean, probably, yeah.

“Horniness is uncool”

Only in the outfit. I want to honk his nose when he cums.

this is entrapment

Yeah. Several years back, I practiced salsa with a lady that did some clowning on the side and some streams got crossed. So like my usual hipster self, I was early on these sorts of trends.

I asked my friend because we were talking on the phone as i came across this thread and he said no

disappointed in him smh