Even despite the age gap, this was the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in. It was based on mutual respect, trust, communication, and an understanding of each other’s time and goals. I really like her as a person – she’s wonderful. But I also think we’re just not the right fit for each other romantically or sexually, and I’ve slowly begun to realize this over the last few weeks.
A couple of nights ago, I broached the subject and mentioned our sex drives were not super aligned. Mine is much higher than hers, and we both acknowledged neither one of us expected the other to change nor did we pretend it was even possible. She took it very hard, though, and spent about 2 hours crying on my couch while we talked.
We didn’t officially break up, and I know she wants to continue trying. I think she believes I am the one for her, and while she is a wonderful person, she just isn’t the right one for me specifically. How should I go about doing this? I had been hoping the conversation would have led us to that conclusion, but I couldn’t find the guts to end it then, especially because we went from joking around and laughing together that exact night like nothing was wrong to her crying in my arms on the couch.
I feel like I’m setting her up for heartbreak, but I know it’s not fair to either of us to continue in something that I am not long-term invested in.
Some people just aren’t sexual; it’s not important to them, they don’t think about it, they don’t initiate, they don’t have sexual thoughts and fantasies, and they need extremely specific prerequisites to even think about getting in the mood, even though they enjoy it when they’re doing it.
They don’t think about sex or want it, and actively reject it until they’re in the mood, and they’ll never get in the mood without starting to have sex.
Some of us are in relationships with those people for a decade and still don’t understand how it works.
Oh man Im kinda lke this and my gf too (I think?), but we are almost never “on the mood” at the same time xD. Really happy with her though, and I hope she is with me too.