Even despite the age gap, this was the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in. It was based on mutual respect, trust, communication, and an understanding of each other’s time and goals. I really like her as a person – she’s wonderful. But I also think we’re just not the right fit for each other romantically or sexually, and I’ve slowly begun to realize this over the last few weeks.

A couple of nights ago, I broached the subject and mentioned our sex drives were not super aligned. Mine is much higher than hers, and we both acknowledged neither one of us expected the other to change nor did we pretend it was even possible. She took it very hard, though, and spent about 2 hours crying on my couch while we talked.

We didn’t officially break up, and I know she wants to continue trying. I think she believes I am the one for her, and while she is a wonderful person, she just isn’t the right one for me specifically. How should I go about doing this? I had been hoping the conversation would have led us to that conclusion, but I couldn’t find the guts to end it then, especially because we went from joking around and laughing together that exact night like nothing was wrong to her crying in my arms on the couch.

I feel like I’m setting her up for heartbreak, but I know it’s not fair to either of us to continue in something that I am not long-term invested in.

  • hoodatninja@kbin.social
    15·
    11 months ago

    It’s takes a certain kind of person to accept an incompatible/dead bedroom six months into a relationship barring their being Demi/Ace. I would say it’s very valid for it to be enough to end the relationship. I know you’re saying it’s up to them and not wrong either way, but I feel like the tone (and follow up comment) maybe implied a little bit that it’s not a good enough reason.

    • NOSin@lemm.eeEnglish
      43·
      11 months ago

      I didn’t do any follow up comment, and I explicitly said only he can answer that question and that there wasn’t any wrong answer.

      You wanna assume and draw implications from that, that’s on you, I think I did my part toward clarity and his answer seems to indicate that it was enough.