I just had a call with one of the party organizers in a city near me and basically the conclusion we came to is that I should wait to join as a membership due to my age as I’m in a very transitory phase in my life, end of high-school -> college/workforce age. My mental state is also not very good but a major motivator for me to get better and stay sober was so that I could be the best comrade I can be. Now it looks like I won’t be able to join until I am moved out and independent (which will likely be another year and a few months just because money exists)
It’s really disheartening because I basically live for and am obsessed with aiding in systemic change and the fall of capitalism and I just want to help so bad. I feel like such a useless parasite right now, like I’m aware of how bad things are and yet I’m still just not able to do anything.
I know it would do wonders for me mentally too, having a purpose, to work towards something with people I love and am like-minded with. Just joining this community and shooting shit online with comrades has made me feel better, I can’t imagine what serious organizing would do for me which would in turn make me a better and more dedicated member of the party. I really want to be a good person and a good comrade.
I’ve always struggled with my age restricting me from things I feel like I can handle because I’ve always been kind of a nerdy, “mature for my age” type. Not saying I’m special or trying to be arrogant it’s just I’ve always had different outlooks/thought processes and different priorities than my peers. I have connected far more meaningfully with the adult world my entire life, in part because I can learn so much from them, and also in part because I was raised by them and had no siblings, cousins, anything like that.
The organizer is very nice, I admire them a lot and it’s just an unfortunate situation. I don’t want to wait to help. I want to get out there.
Sorry for the rant, just feeling useless
You would think they would see one being in a naturally transitory phase as a key demographic to recruit, their behavior comes off as gatekeeping. Even if they were looking for older and thus seen as reliable comrades to join who doesn’t have a youth league??
Which org was this?
I don’t really want to out the organization publicly in case it makes anyone think twice. They really have been doing great things and have been very nice to me.
They said I can still come to their events, protests, and mingle with them just that I wouldn’t be able to be a full party member yet because of mental issues and age and distance (I live about an hour and a half drive away). They said organizing is really a lot of responsibility and shit like that so I think they’re nervous but ye.
So yeah I don’t really know what to think of it. I understand it but I just thought it would show commitment and passion being this young and wanting to hop in, yknow? I mean I’ve driven down to the branch’s area 2 times now for a protest and event… I’m obviously willing to do this for real. I don’t know lol
I understand. Are there any other parties in your area you could join (that are worth joining) while you are temporarily unable to join this one? I can’t pretend I understand the party’s reasoning and joining a party would indeed be good for you in finding a place to be recipient of your efforts and keep you on a beneficial track.