I’ve never actually read Settlers aside from a page or chapter or two but I’ve seen people sum up its major points on reddit comments. Ironically, the day before the event I’m about describe happened, I watched BadEmpanada’s video making fun of Gonzalo and talking about the atrocities of the Shining Path.
Yesterday I had a mental breakdown in a public space and started yelling and threatening to get violent to someone to the point where security had to escort me out of the building I was in. I then proceeded to run in front of the street in hopes a car would kill me.
While there were other factors, like having to wait in line for hours with no guarantee that it would even be worth it, and perhaps not having enough hours of sleep, the main reason why I snapped was because I, for some reason, was so upset at the idea of people in the first world being complicit in the exploitation of people in imperialized nations with their usage of luxury products gained from exploitation and the idea that the biggest problem in a first worlder’s life is the fact that a video game or movie sucked, or that someone cheated in a speedrun. I kept thinking about all these (often long or very long) Youtube videos you see where someone talks about speedrunning crap or makes a 12 hour video dissecting why a TV show is bad. It bothered me that people in my home country care so much about those insignificant things instead of imperialism.
In addition, a person who I am very close to and care about deeply had sent me a pro-Taiwan video on Discord, which led to me spamming the message “Fuck off”. My brain had malfunctioned the point that I fantasized about killing myself to stop these dysphoric feelings, even taking it another step further by thinking about taking others with me via ultraleft terrorism. Thankfully this is 100% materially impossible for me to do and is not even remotely a realistic concern. I feel embarrassed that I even experienced this brainrot since I literally hate Maoists and make fun of them all the time online. The thought I even had feelings like this is extremely out of character and I can’t even think of any logical reason why it even happened. Can someone tell me how I can avoid ever hating the local proletariat ever again?
TL;DR: I hate speedrunning and video essays.
Yes it seems that the proletariat of the imperial core are propagandized against the rest of their human compatriots at the moment. Violence is a tool to defend something worth dying for. If you are angry build something. If you are just by yourself, build something small. Ask others to join you and build something small that meets the needs of your community. Become a person that has a dialectical relationship with your community. People can be misinformed when they don’t have a dialectical relationship with something. If they experience it themselves directly, the falsehoods become revealed as falsehoods. Build something and help others and if they see that you are one of the good people, some may laugh at you, but others may join you because they are alienated and want to be part of something too. That way, when the shit hits the fan, your community will look to you, someone that cares about the community, as this system collapses. Your actions will speak louder than words on a fed infested server. So, unionize your workplace if you can, or set up a mutual aid network, join a local party if you can. Your anger comes from impotence. If you find yourself lacking in accomplishing what you want to accomplish, then turn that anger to become what a person representing communism ought to be. By focusing inward to increase your skills, physical health, and mental health, you can build something in this world. By building something in this world, you can contribute to communism. By contributing more to communism than western Maoists, you will have no reason to care at all what they say.