Thank you for being understanding. It’s hard not to have a knee jerk reaction to this kind of stuff. Combine that with the fact that I see myself as a fundamentally bad person and self-destructively say horrific shit to drive others away and wallow in my dark parts and you have a recipe for a person who talks big shit on the internet but is timid real life.

The only thing I’d push back on is your characterization of materialism being a bad thing, however I suspect we are referring to different things with that word.