Hello all, I was Muslim for ~17 years, then Eclectic Pagan / Deist / Agnostic ~2-4 years and now I would say that I am some mix of Chaos Magick and Abrahamism and have been for a little longer than that, roughly.

I have definitely achieved uhh…things. Most notably and easily explainably astral projection, relationship with egregore(s) (entities) and things that I can only call “manifestation.”

In some ways it feels like I have FUCKED myself up in some ways. But in others ways it feels like I have “the sauce” which helps me in really cool and interesting ways.

I have always viewed–I don’t even know what umbrella to call it, spirituality?–this sort of stuff as one of the main most underutilized playgrounds for the communist pursuit circa 2022. I see untapped potential but I also have had…shall we say bad experiences that I wonder if are rendered onto me by alphabet agencies or more conspiratorial sounding, shall we say instruments of evil or something less dramatic idk.

What is your experience? How much does this sort of this overlap with politics for you, and if so, in what ways, and if not, how so?

  • Ball Thrower
    4•2 years ago

    I’m not anti-religion at all, it’s just not for me at this point. What felt wrong was rather me becoming a lot more paranoid about my surroundings, thinking everything was some sort of sign about my fate. I was terrified a lot of the times, thinking that death would come soon. So I dropped it entirely and go by science because it doesn’t cause me the same paranoia I had then. That’s just me tho

    • KiG V2OP
      4•2 years ago

      No yes I definitely know the paranoia. I started seeing “synchronicity” everywhere and my thinking became very schizophrenic in a “everything has deep subtext, everything” sort of way (drug use back then didn’t help either lol). I still stand by some instances of it but I’m definitely not “seeking it out” anymore as that’s when, as I say, “if you think yellow cars mean something always you’ll start seeing yellow cars everywhere.” Some things IMO are hard to write off as “just coincidence” but others feel force-fit.

      I’ve also taken a step back from a lot of this as it was boiling my head in general. I still “talk to God” and pray. I even still believe in negative entities, “demons.” But I also appreciated one day that they were so terrifying and powerful precisely because I was giving them so much attention.