Did you get to go see her in treatment? Sucks to hear that.

Maybe this isn’t helpful, and I’m sorry to generalise.

Ten years ago I could feel me and my now ex drifting apart. I fought it with every fibre of my being. I did everything I could to keep us together. I shelved my personality to keep her happy. In the end, she broke up with me, and 2015 was my worst year ever.

Since then, I grew a lot as a person, figured out who I am and what I need. I feel much happier with just the self awareness. I still talk to my ex sometimes, and I can’t imagine being together. Not to disparage her, but she’s so damn boring now (to me). I’m sure it’s mutual. I am glad that we broke up, in the end.

I don’t know where you’ll end up, it might be exceptionally painful at first, but you might end up better in the end. I do feel for what you’re going through, it is very very hard.

Same, comrade. Same.

Sometimes it’s time, even if you still have feelings for one another.

Take care of yourself.

started typing something in more detail, but i’ll keep it simple and say that i feel where you’re at, i ended my partnership of almost 9 years about a year ago and while its been a tough year in many ways, it was the right choice. you should always listen to that inner voice about these things, it leads to either ending a relationship that isn’t meant to be anymore (which is in everyone’s benefit long-term, even if it doesn’t feel that way), or having a frank-but-difficult discussion that leads to mending the parts of your relationship that aren’t working (though in this case it sounds like your mind is already pretty made up). best of luck to both of you at this deeply painful crossroads, i hope you both come out on the other side better for it.