it’s how she describes herself lmao

link

              • Cromalin [she/her]@hexbear.netOPM
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                6 months ago

                conflate womanhood with a couple of choices in clothing

                i don’t think it’s intentional but this is a deeply transphobic way of framing things you find cringe

                • WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them]@lemmy.today
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                  6 months ago

                  Definitely not intentional. Out of context, it could definitely be portrayed as a terf talking point. I meant it specifically when it’s used by people to insist people who explicitly identify as cis are actually secretly eggs in denial - even if it turns out to be true, it’s still disrespectful to ignore how people ask to be gendered.

                  • Cromalin [she/her]@hexbear.netOPM
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                    6 months ago

                    i am unconcerned with the plight of the femboy. people are slightly annoying to cis guys who wear dresses by suggesting they may be part of a broader community, who cares. being a woman is not a negative thing, being trans is not a negative thing, people are constantly annoying to everyone on the planet for all kinds of reasons femboys aren’t special

                    i’m going to ban you for a week, don’t come into a thread that isn’t about femboy erasure and get really mad about and interpret everyone’s comments as being about femboy erasure

              • Huldra [they/them, it/its]@hexbear.net
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                6 months ago

                People on this website will really upbear one of the most stock transmisogynist catchphrases out there just because the hypothetical group of trans women targeted by the phrase have been hit with as unserious a label as being “reddit”

                Like it’s perfectly understandable to not pick up on “the plight of the femboy” type rhetoric as a dogwhistle but this is literally just the most stock harrassment trans women get hit by on twitter but with a reddit label crudely stamped over it.

                • WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them]@lemmy.today
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                  6 months ago

                  Not sure what you mean? I’m talking about people who explicitly say they are cis femboys and yet repeatedly are made the butt of a joke by a small sunset of trans women. I don’t see how respecting people’s sincerely and repeatedly stated gender identity is transphobic. Im in no way intending to imply that people identify as a woman are just femboys in denial if that’s what you thought I meant.

                  • Huldra [they/them, it/its]@hexbear.net
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                    6 months ago

                    It’s a completely unserious conflict, a huge amount of trans women have experience with self denial of identity so its understandable that they would be persistent in trying to help others avoid delaying transition, at worst the situations described consist of cis men getting joked about by trans women, this is just not a real problem and its pretty much exclusively forwarded as a problem in order to demonize trans women.

                    And what I am accusing you of is peddling extremely thinly veiled transmisogyny, since the entirety of your account existence is posting twice in some “would you rather be trapped in a forest with a man or a bear” thread elsewhere, and then coming to hexbear to talk shit about a designated “cringe” group of trans women.

                  • AutomatedPossum [she/her]@hexbear.net
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                    6 months ago

                    This is the third time that somebody has called out your gross transphobic bs and you keep deflecting like the world’s biggest debate pervert.

                    You outright said that these people are “conflating womanhood with a couple of choices in clothing”. That part of your post, which is just rephrasing the terf argument that trans women are “treating womanhood as a costume” or “are doing woman blackface”, has been quoted verbatim by two different posters, you have replied to both. You have not engaged with this criticism once, you disingenious transphobic shitweasel.

              • AutomatedPossum [she/her]@hexbear.net
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                6 months ago

                Actually most of the callouts come from truscums and other assimilationists who police other transfem’s gender expression because they’re afraid cissies may find it cringe and tbh your take about “conflating womanhood with a couple of choices in clothing” is an outright carbon copy of terf talking points.

                • WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them]@lemmy.today
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                  6 months ago

                  How is telling people you don’t have to like skirts to be trans or that you should not insist you know other people’s gender better than themselves policing other’s gender?

                  • AutomatedPossum [she/her]@hexbear.net
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                    6 months ago

                    The fuck are you even talking about? The common criticism of catgirl culture has always been that it’s cringe and “makes us look bad”. None of your post has anything to do with a critique of some strawcatgirl invalidating femboys or telling people you need to like skirts, either.

              • Wanted to clear up a few misunderstandings about my beliefs.

                Some misunderstandings I think some people had:

                1. I was complaining about fictional characters being called trans

                No. I agree its annoying when people insist that characters aren’t trans. Characters like Ruka from Steins Gate and Ferris from Re:zero are common examples where its seems pretty obvious the characters are, yet people whine when people suggest that they’re trans representation or relatable for trans people. And even when Bridget was confirmed trans, there were still plenty of people who still refused to acknowledge that. Such complaints are transphobic and I’d never agree with them.

                I think an adjacent assumption people made is that I’m totally against suggesting to a real person that they are an egg when they do things that suggest they’re eggs. I’d personally think I’d have preferred someone to have said something when I’ve made pretty obvious comments, so I’m not a strict believer in the “prime egg directive.” OTOH, even if I think someone is an egg, if they ask to be gendered a specific way, I’m always going to respect their request (unless they’re just obviously being transphobic, such as asking to be identified as an attack helicopter). Personally, I talk about how I think my mom might be an egg online and how her transphobia is the primary thing keeping her from realizing it. I don’t want to deal with her transphobia, so I have a hard time trying to talk about these things with her. I think Mafumafu is case of a celebrity whom I wonder if they might be an egg, but as long as he says he’s a man, I’m going to address him as such. I’d love to find out otherwise though. I don’t think reverse-transphobia is a thing, so I’m not suggesting its equivalent misgendering trans people for not conforming to stereotypes.

                1. I was suggesting trans women are not women

                Pretty clearly answered this already by saying otherwise. But I’m going to repeat it here: trans women are women. Whether someone conforms to local stereotypes for women or not have no bearing on whether they’re women.

                1. I’m a cis man/femboy

                Ironic seeing a comment calling a trans fem person a man and implying I’m a femboy being upvoted. I don’t blame the user, but no one thought to correct them? Pretty confident I’d have noticed if someone as active as I’ve been the past few weeks up to my ban was being misgendered like that.

                1. I think badly of egg_irl/tra users.

                The only reason I left is because of the reddit API and IPO stuff. I’d still be there otherwise and generally liked them (the trans communities were the main thing I missed about reddit). I’m not a fan of compliments personally, so I tend to avoid giving compliments: giving compliments feels like it is genuinely insulting. So, I have a tendency to make fun of things I like or consider myself a part of instead. Works better IRL because tone gets loss in text and people lack the context to understand that actual meaning. I do think reddit as a platform tends to push up cookie-cutter responses (“THIS ^”) that people feel rewarded for by karma, so certain things get a bit spammy. But the same is true across all of reddit and not intended to be a serious insult of the individuals who participate in such (including myself) and the spammy nature can still be fun (at least for a while). I personally found the weekly egg joke aimed at a specific IRL person who has asked repeatedly to be gendered otherwise distasteful, but not a serious offense. This is what I was referring to in the main sentence people took contention with. My intended point was people should have their gender respective regardless of how they’re presenting at that moment. If I wanted to complain about something seriously, I’d have brought up how often trans men were misgendered on accident.