get-in

  • Ho_Chi_Chungus [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    7 months ago

    still feels weird to basically feel my identity change in real time. like, i’ll be reading things about trans women or lesbians like blob-no-thoughts for like 6 seconds before it finally clicks that “this affects you personally now, dum dum”

    in retrospect i guess i always did want to be a lesbian. damn. the flag has such great colors too hexbear-lesbian

  • TerminalEncounter [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    7 months ago

    I’m a pediatrics nurse in a rural area, had my first encounter with a family who insisted they get another nurse because “I made them uncomfortable.” :(

    In brighter news, my girlfriends bottom surgery is healing really well! I really really wanna play with it but you have to wait sooo long. We have to be chaste sapphics~

  • Xx_Aru_xX [she/her, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    7 months ago
    transphobia

    First memory I have of transwomen was when I was like 11 years old or something and I saw someone using the slur “tr—y” somewhere so I looked it up and found a youtube video of a beautiful woman and the comments were all insulting her and telling her she’s not a real woman, and all I was thinking of was jesse-wtf

  • GaveUp [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    7 months ago

    Was sexting this girl whom I knew was a chaser and she told me

    chaser sext

    “Get me pregnant with your girlcock!”

    and now I feel pathetic

    idk what else I expected dead-dove-1 dead-dove-2 dead-dove-3

  • bleepbloopbop [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    7 months ago
    CW trans subreddits being transphobic

    dead-dove-1

    Went on r/transtimelines (or whatever it’s called), this morning looking for people, idk, that resemble me, didn’t really find any but it was still kinda inspiring until…

    dead-dove-2

    I scrolled down in the comments on someone asking a question about how estrogen affects facial hair growth, if they could keep their beard on estrogen basically, and there was this whole chain of 4chan-vibes posting being like “if people like you wouldn’t keep acting like this, growing a beard just to be quirky and different, then there wouldn’t be man in a dress tropes”

    dead-dove-3

    It was downvoted a little, but it was multiple people, seemingly trans people, talking like this from slightly different angles. I’ve thought about keeping some amount of facial hair when I transition, ngl this stung even though I know exactly how self defeating and hateful and shitty the people saying it are and that they’re wrong

    agony-deep

    • DerEwigeAtheist [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      7 months ago

      Redditors are so stupid, I wish we woulf live in a world where women could have cool beards without getting harrased. Would make it easier for trans ppl, and cis women with beard growth. I once saw some artwork of female dwarves (the fantasy kind) with beards and those were some cool looks(with braids and ribbons and stuff), that didn’t seem very difficult to actually replicate.

      • bleepbloopbop [they/them]@hexbear.net
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        7 months ago

        yes!

        I don’t even have the guts to come out to my family yet, but that’s the goal. Zero fucks given, I just want to feel good about myself and in my own body, I don’t want to adopt someone else’s hangups about hair just because society says any femme should be hairless

  • SnowySkyes [she/her]@hexbear.netM
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    7 months ago

    Still in a decent bit of pain. Not very mobile. Going a little stir crazy, but I’m getting by by watching Critical Role campaign 2.

    On a related note, no one has really inquired about my wellbeing since my surgery and it’s giving me a strong case of the feel bads. It really sucks.

  • space_owl [any]@hexbear.net
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    7 months ago

    Why would I get a haircut to lose like 1.5 years of hair growth right after realizing I’m trans? The haircut I have is so shit too so I’m getting jealous whenever I see someone with good hair now

  • Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    7 months ago

    Being bi rules pretty hard. Also read a survey (like 750 bi respondents) and it looks like 84% of them would date a non-op trans woman which is pretty cool. Like that’s way higher than any other group od people and a solid majority. Honestly I’ve always gravitated towards bi women but bi guys are cool too and can get it. Also, bi people wont judge me for being bi (common problem even today).

    This was all set off by me looking up data on trans dating stuff ( peter-running ) but honestly this made me feel pretty good.

    • ashinadash [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      7 months ago

      I love looking up trans related things, expecting to be depressed but comin out bloomer about it. Researching “trans sexuality” once led me to this cute study :) My fav stat from it is that adherence to “traditional” gender binary ideology correlated very directly with unhappiness, lmao.

    • soli@infosec.pub
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      7 months ago

      Also, bi people wont judge me for being bi (common problem even today).

      my experience with a bi ex tells me this is not the case

    • GaveUp [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      7 months ago

      Have you dated or fucked a cis bi person before? Did they treat you in ways that were gender affirming? This may just be my own insecurities but I’m so afraid of dating cis bi women because I’m scared that they’ll mostly be attracted to my masculine traits or view me less of a woman than cis woman

      • Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        7 months ago

        Also I’m kind a special case because idk if it’s internalized transphobia or something but like If I perceive a woman to be more femme than me, I basically just want to top them or at most like… side. Which puts me in a weird spot in my head but like what ya gonna do. I’ll really only bottom with men. But then also my friends tell me I’m pretty femme it’s just that it sounds like I’m a woman talking through a Low voice. But idk I feel really weird about sex atm haha especially because I do have fun and I’m quite good at topping also trans tops are like in high demand…

        • GaveUp [she/her]@hexbear.net
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          7 months ago

          What is side?

          And yea, I think that is part of the problem for me :S

          I’ve noticed trans tops are in demand for men because a lot are chasers and popular for lesbians because women trend towards subs/bottoms so it’s like, there’s too much ambiguity for me how much my tool factors into them liking me 😥

          • Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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            7 months ago

            I totally get that yeah. Like I will say I have been with some people who actually seem to see me (not as just some girl with a dick or some… thing with a dick) and I have been with one person who definitely kinda fetishized me and that felt GROSS. The first person who I felt saw me was actually a hookup but he definitely treated me like a feminine person and wasn’t overly interested in my dick (honestly, he wasn’t really that interested at all either way in my dick. He mostly wanted to fuck me).

            The woman I saw Teo days ago also, idk. It felt like she mostly just saw me as a woman, or a trans woman. She never gendered me wrong. She didn’t make me feel fetishized.

            I guess that’s really it though, I think it just depends on how someone makes you feel. Do they pass the vibe test. Unfortunately you’ll only know I’d you go out with people though.

            Idk if this matters but like… I dont pass at all. I’m hot, sure, but I don’t pass. Most people think I’m a guy, in fact I got man’d on my date by some guy. But maybe this keeps extreme chasers away idk

            • GaveUp [she/her]@hexbear.net
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              7 months ago

              Idk if this matters but like… I dont pass at all. I’m hot, sure, but I don’t pass. Most people think I’m a guy, in fact I got man’d on my date by some guy. But maybe this keeps extreme chasers away idk

              This is actually quite reassuring because I’m in the same position haha

              Idk how but hormones keep making my face more attractive but in more masculine ways 💀

                • GaveUp [she/her]@hexbear.net
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                  7 months ago

                  Nice! Hope you’re happy with whatever you choose

                  I wasn’t planning on getting ffs but now that I’m getting close to leaving my job, I’m feeling very tempted to get it if I can before going too just cause it’ll be free

      • Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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        7 months ago

        Ok so it’s kinda weird for me because yes I’ve fucked a bi woman however I was topping but that was also my choice. So, kinda hard to say what she was into about me. But I will say we went on a whole date beforehand and I felt pretty affirmed in my gender. So idk. I need more experience I think

    • machiabelly [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      7 months ago

      I’d be pretty skeptical of assuming bi people will treat you well. Sexuality isn’t a great indicator. I’ve had bi people revert to heteronormativity the moment they realize I have a cock. I’ve had bi people who are attracted to my masculine presence and broad shouldered 6’4 stature who had no desire to treat me like a woman. And basically everyone expects me to take the lead.

      In my experience lesbians are a bit more reliable but not so much that I feel automatically safe around cis lesbians.

  • jwsmrz [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    7 months ago

    cw harassment lol

    spoiler

    Yesterday some freak followed me for like 10 minutes, practically to my doorstep, while repeatedly yelling slurs and throwing random trash at me, and I was too tired to even do much of anything besides walk slightly faster.

    Idk, I was wearing baggy pants and a baggy thick as hell sweater, so im not really sure what tipped him off, but what the fuck. Not that anyone deserves that treatment but if I was dressed campy I could sort of understand it. I guess I just have an aura of slur.

    anyway this sort of shit happens a lot to me and I go out of my way to dress down / make people more comfortable with me, so I’m not really sure what the fuck is such a giveaway when I just want to run errands and chill. I get why people detransition for reasons like this, I miss being invisible and ignored. I’m happy with myself and all my changes, but other people make it really hard.

  • Babs [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    7 months ago

    At what point does one become a Trans Elder? In a few months, I will have been openly trans for over half my life, but I’m also just a millennial. Do I get any sick powers with it?

  • Ho_Chi_Chungus [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    7 months ago

    today on shit i wish i could have told myself like 8 years ago:

    you can actually enjoy your gender. you can and should like it. you don’t have to just accept your AGAB as an unfortunate fact

  • AutomatedPossum [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    7 months ago

    I think from now on i’ll gauge my HRT dose by the amount of emotional devastation videos of bottlefed baby badgers make me feel, seems to work about as reliable as the bloodwork at my endocrinologist.