Undiagnosed dude here, been accused of it my whole life and people I assume that I have it, yadda yadda
But at every point in my life, I’ve lost people because they grew up while I remained childish. And I guess I’m at that point again, I didn’t want something about my personality I can’t change be the reason I lose people who are important to me
Does this make any sense
I feel you completely (edit: in part at least). People talk to me like a child all the time and I hate it.
People probably think I’m stick up because irl I’m incredibly formal and insist on myself obeying etiquette because at least there’s fucking rules there that I can do x and expect y.
I’ve been tested twice and once was a bit above and the other was just below and both times they said they wanted to rerun it so I just went fuck it, not like they can prescribe anything anyways.
This happens everywhere, not just at work?
I don’t interact with people outside of work. Necessities such as chores and going to work are the only times I interact with people face to face for the most part.
All my old friends live in different states, they don’t treat me like that but I’m not sure if phone calls count really.
I just ended up shedding all my friends and everybody I ever knew. I was already so used to randomly cutting people out from being queer that it was like, well whatever, good riddance to bad trash I guess. I have no friends now. I figured anyone who can’t stick it out is not actually important or good.
Yeah it absolutely makes sense, and it kept happening to me as I grew up (especially in ages 12-15). It only stabilized in uni, once I got in a (it turns out) friend group comprised mostly of people with autistic and/or ADHD traits. These experiences have made me very reluctant to bond with neurotypicals tbh
I stopped wanting to “be grown up” when I got the feeling that this would mean permanently sacrificing joy. I hated the word “mature” and stopped using it, along with other words that felt constraining. Maybe that was just a part of growing up in a hyper-Protestant environment though.
I still love running and leaping and climbing and rolling and miming and singing and joking, so it came as a bit of a surprise when someone a bit older than me described me as “responsible”. Embracing the full cognitive and affective potential of a human being is a good thing.
Nah I agree, “mature”;“grown-up”;“adult”-- all a social construct that essentially refers to the sacrificing of your humanity to assimilate and have your labor exploited without complaining. I’d assert that this is a big reason autism is marginalized, as most of us simply cannot abide by this rule, and this rule is a necessary component for capitalism to exist.
“You will stick to doing things that you are required/expected to do, and every expression you have must be some flavor of dutiful submission.”
what do you mean by you remained childish?
Talking about the things that really matter to you but have no bearing on everyday life overall
Babe (I hope that’s okay to use)
I think that’s one of the autism things
I do that, and I gotta say it’s not worth the lack of enrichment to keep friends who aren’t at some level here to be excited with me about my special interests.
It might make sense to mask it in certain situations like with some coworkers, but you’d be doing a disservice to yourself to not surround yourself with supportive friends.
If it makes you feel better, I’m still working through my shame when it comes to this. I tend to apologize immediately after what I call a “rant” and my loved ones always reassure me that they’re here for it lol
It describes exactly why I’ve had trouble keeping people in my life in all forms. A point comes and it’s like “Yup that guy just said something extremely socially innocuous and for that reason alone I’m ending the relationship.”
It’s why everyone feels so safe online because they can usually dip without worrying about anything. And it’s why I’ll probably always be physically alone because people like the way I write but they don’t like the way I talk (if that makes sense).
This is why I believe dating apps will never work for me
I feel like I get this to a degree that makes me uncomfortable. When I tried dating apps, I found that the interactions were so hollow that I never felt like I could be in a relationship with that person.
This is not necessarily advice because I know how hard it can be when it comes to selecting your partner but both of my partners are trans autistic women and that has made a world of a difference.
Sometimes the better option is accepting that some neurotypical people have to work twice as hard to accommodate for some of us, and that’s something that is going to make the relationship feel lopsided imo
Maybe I just am too self conscious tho
It’s just like the minute I start putting my foot down people start pulling away
