The fact that they literally think that me critiquing their language got them to question if I were either a “transphobe or ally” is very questionable. I’m literally a transfeminine (AMAB) enby myself. Nothing of what I said was trans exclusionary. The statement “Some AFABs are men” is literally very trans inclusive. Separating AFABs and men as two mutually exclusive groups, however, isn’t trans inclusive. It’s clearly a pretentious and performative attempt at inclusion because that’s functionally no different than typical TERF-drivel.
As an AMAB enby, this is a glimpse into me finally understanding why some binary trans people, especially trans women, have developed enbyphobic views. Not that I’m justifying their enbyphobia, but I’ve always been a pretty outspoken opponent of enbyphobia, especially in the context of infighting within the trans community specifically. I always thought this whole thing about “AFAB enbies sometimes seeming just like TERFy cis women” was a myth until I experienced this. However, that being said, I know this is a loud minority. There are tons of AFAB enbies themselves who would object to this bullshit, and at the end of the day, regardless if you’re cis or trans, binary or non-binary, just keep the problematic, divisive language out of fighting our battles against oppression. That shit helps no one.
I’m going to say this as carefully as possible:
There are trans men who do this as well, and it literally puts amabs in physical danger. I was threatened with death by strangulation for wanting to quit, and he never used my chosen pronouns. I’ve also had one (my ex husband) threaten to call the cops on me and say that he doesn’t feel safe with me in the house then kicking me out all because he wouldn’t leave my room so I pushed him out of it
I give all trans afabs I see love and support, but I will never fucking trust them. They have a privilege that they’ve demonstrated they will use against me when it most suits them and will hurt me the most and will do it without thinking twice.