[CW: Transphobia]
As a non-binary person, I now have to operate under the assumption that any trans person I meet has a good chance of hating my guts simply because of my gender identity (ironic). I really fucking hate that I cannot undo this mindset because of how common transmedicalism and enbyphobia in the trans community has become.
I can’t even see a post on social media that says something like “Trans Rights!!!” and not feel uncomfortable because my initial reaction has become “Does that include me, though? Do you support my rights?”. I will always identify as trans, but I’m heavily frightened by the possibility that transphobic attacks I experience are not just gonna be from mostly cis people.
Now, at every fucking turn, I have to ponder if I belong in any trans spaces or not. After going through harsh amounts of abusive transphobia from cis people, having trans people go out of their way to exclude me has done more to make me feel alone than anything else, and it’s absolutely not what I need right now.
This is true, and you know what? I literally just finished this read that conveys this exact point. The issue is that there are numerous amounts of binary trans people who have so little awareness to this detail that they’ll push me down for… not being the “right kind of gender deviant”? As far as I’m concerned society and the oppressive systems reinforcing cisheteronormativity knows no such thing. I don’t even know exactly what the problem is at this point. It’s seems so irrational that I can’t even begin to fathom why they hate me so much when I’m literally… the same as them when it all comes down to the grand scheme of things. It’s about as sensible as colorism is for black people. Imagine being a black person who only supports liberation from racial oppression for black people who are specifically dark-skinned or black people who are specifically light-skinned. Imagine doing this and not understanding how it looks to the systems that uphold white privilege. Don’t you understand how absurd it sounds? Enbyphobic transgender people do not.