come chat and vibe and vent. anything fun happen lately?

  • Frogmanfromlake [none/use name]@hexbear.netEnglish
    16·
    10 months ago

    Been trying to help my younger cousin out with dating. He’s on every app and has dealt with constant ghosting to the point that it’s made him a little depressed. It’s still weird to me that dating apps are so normalized because I remember when being on one of those old dating sites like Eharmony would make people laugh at you.

    • jaeme@hexbear.netEnglish
      18·
      10 months ago

      Dating apps are designed to extract as much profit from the user as possible. So the dating apps are actually working as intended if your cousin isn’t getting any dates. They promote unhealthy objectification of other people through their systems and also are incredibly monetized. On the computing side, they are centralized network services that no one except the corporation has any ability to inspect. The apps themselves are also nonfree software that are filled with spyware and targeted advertising. In a capitalist society, dating has become another market for capitalists to exploit.

      Everyone laughed at people who used dating apps without actually reckoning with why these apps were so popular in the first place, now future generations will have to suffer without ever knowing a world where those apps didn’t exist.

      All is to say, I’m glad you’re supporting your cousin as much as possible.

  • Magician [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    15·
    10 months ago

    I think the highs and lows of my [diagnosable parts of my brain] are leveling off a little bit.

    Instead of just abstract pain or discomfort, I can articulate what’s specifically going on that’s bothering me. It’s work, but it’s work for me to improve myself.

    I’m encountering apathy when I describe my experience to people in my circle and that’s a sign I need to change my circle. For instance, I tried to explain how personal grooming as a masculine presenting person of color is often a matter of safety. If I look unkempt in the wrong place, people will start asking questions or sending cops. It’s not being paranoid or cynical to associate safety with grooming when you live in a racist area.

    • Othello [none/use name]@hexbear.netOPEnglish
      8·
      9 months ago

      It’s not being paranoid or cynical to associate safety with grooming when you live in a racist area.

      i struggle to explain this to my non black partner

  • theposterformerlyknownasgood@hexbear.net
    English
    14·
    10 months ago

    My dad believes that a sauce/dip is bad if you can flip the container and it spills. This is a universal principle whether he’s talking hummus, gravy or pasta sauce. He won’t eat spaghetti if the sauce is a liquid.

    • Pluto [he/him, he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
      4·
      10 months ago

      I feel that.

      I got another assignment for my internship that’s due Friday (which is great 'cause I don’t have to get to it immediately, especially given the nature of it).

      But all the same: I really should get to it eventually and, for some reason, I’m already feeling a sense of procrastination.

      Chances are, I’ll just throw myself into it if I have to (and maybe ask for some help on using some software) so I’m not too worried.

  • jaeme@hexbear.netEnglish
    13·
    9 months ago

    CW: homophobic attitudes (light).

    My mom keeps telling me that she wants me to have an arranged marriage with a girl in Bangladesh. Emphasis on “girl” because the people she’s showing me are like still in high school (wtf but also high school works differently so they’re like 2-4 years younger than me). I usually just tell her no and that I’m focusing on my studies right now. She’s been getting really insistent lately and keeps telling me that she’ll be really lonely if I don’t marry a woman she can treat as her personal daughter in law. Fyi both my parents know I’m only romantically interested/attracted to men but my mom is like “marry someone and forget her” which really fucks my shit up considering that a lot of my family is a result of arranged marriages but my parents actually got together because they loved each other.

    Part of me just wants to leave my family forever and go no contact but another part of me that’s horrified for thinking that, but then another part of me gets so heated and I start losing myself.

    blegh

  • Othello [none/use name]@hexbear.netOPEnglish
    13·
    10 months ago

    i am seeing a really big musical on Friday. aaaahhhhhhhhhh. so excited, its one of my favorite musicals and I’ve only seen in on youtube “slime tutorials”.

  • jaeme@hexbear.netEnglish
    12·
    10 months ago

    I joined a volunteering club and got to meet some new people. I also dropped one of my classes and I’m feeling less stressed overall.

    I want to do an exchange program to Argentina but I’m scared of the anarcho-capitalist being golpe’d de estado (military coup) while I’m there and being deported/forced to leave. If I want an uncomplicated study abroad to a spanish speaking country I could just go to Spain but that would mean I would still be in my comfort zone of the Global North.

    I wish the US didn’t violate the entirety of America Latina for centuries.

    • Pluto [he/him, he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
      12·
      10 months ago

      As a Latino, I feel that last part.

      As for Spain, there are a lot of communists there (though for various reasons, Spain’s CPs aren’t that good or big) and a lot of good Spanish-language classes too. Spain is also the “periphery” of European nations… not that that’s saying much; they still have a say in Europe, even if they’re economically weak comparatively. Good working-class history though; a good number of former members of the Abraham Lincoln Brigade and some archivists studying that period live there, I think, last I heard. If not Spain, then Bolivia (but you’ll have to deal with air-sickness at first; every foreigner does).

    • Ath3ro [none/use name]@hexbear.netEnglish
      11·
      10 months ago

      Yeah argentina’s looking real rough as a place to visit for any reason. Policies are changing hour by hour especially for travelers. Being Mexican i want to say fuck spain and avoid it but i’ve heard the southern parts near Portugal are pretty amazing. It would be a great way to experience some well planned urban areas. I would definitely consider especially if you don’t speak spanish fluently since it can help open doors to other spanish speaking countries to study in.

      • jaeme@hexbear.netEnglish
        5·
        10 months ago

        I’ve been to Madrid during high school for a study abroad, I loved going on the metro as well as seeing what an actually good planned city is like (against US cities at least). The southern parts of Spain also sound interesting but I’m also looking at Chile as well which is on my available programs list.

        I’ve also already been to Costa Rica for a short program for university already so I have experience in living in hispanic countries.

        • Ath3ro [none/use name]@hexbear.netEnglish
          5·
          10 months ago

          Nevermind then, Fuck spain lol. Go to Chile its such an amazing country rich with history and culture. Super unique architecture and so many natural and manmade wonders.

  • Rojo27 [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    12·
    10 months ago

    I always get a bit taken aback whenever people come to me for advice. Working retail I work with younger people and I always forget that I’m their elder. And more so now that I’m a lead/manager. Someone recently came to me for advice for an interview and I’m really glad I could help them out.

    Speaking of work, I was recently floated the possibility of a promotion. I’d probably be traveling a lot more depending on the position. Nothing concrete though, but I’m cautiously optimistic.

    • GaveUp [she/her]@hexbear.netMEnglish
      10·
      9 months ago

      The current father also had a child with my mother and is against me telling my sibling about racism, even though it will affect him, as it does already.

      This is so perplexing. White people who refuse to acknowledge that racism is real are the worst, I’m so sorry

      • Lorraine [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
        9·
        9 months ago

        Thanks friend, people will really do anything but discuss topics that make them feel guilty or uncomfortable in fear of feeling complicit…making themselves complicit in turn lol disgost

    • silent_water [she/her]@hexbear.netMEnglish
      8·
      9 months ago

      I’ve lost touch with my family so I don’t know how the marriages turned out but some of the women in my extended family married hwite dudes. there’s less of a fetish thing with brown women though so idk. WMAF couples always make me wonder how much of it is fetish and how much of it is real.

      • Lorraine [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
        9·
        9 months ago

        Yeah, it’s kind of hard to look at WMAF couples in a normal way when there isn’t a shortage of white men who say they have an “Asian preference” just because their attempts with white women failed and they think of Asian women as “more docile and submissive”… yuck.

  • IzyaKatzmann [he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    11·
    10 months ago

    my partner is also a poc.

    she has suffered me for so so long. she takes care of me, and took care of me when i was cruel and selfish and hurt her with every word. i still do it, and i am much worse now.

    i wish she did not love me, i still cannot understand. how can someone have so much love in their heart? she has so much life in her she gives me the will to live. she lives for the both of us.

    she hates white people a lot. she didn’t hate them so much in the past, now that she’s working she’s become very radicalized. i just can’t bring myself to hate these individuals. i’m dispassionate and disappointed, i wish i could redirect some of the awfulness i put on her and on others who supported me to work to something useful.

  • Pluto [he/him, he/him]@hexbear.netEnglish
    10·
    10 months ago

    I like that the avi of this comm at least has multiple BIPOC representatives rather than just one BIPOC group being represented.

    I’m happy with the banner, but I could’ve made it a bit more, err, multiracial, so to speak (it was kinda made on the fly and rushed out).