• Awoo [she/her]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    24
    ·
    edit-2
    10 months ago

    I think the problem is that it always comes across as if you’re speaking down to someone like they’re a child. It’s a very much a “you’re at an early stage” thing and inevitably because you’re talking about a passage of time experience it ALWAYS comes across as “you just need time to mature”. The roles are always sort of someone more-developed vs someone less-developed, and for the person being placed in the less-developed role essentially against their will (they didn’t choose to have a teacher/student conversation) of the interaction this feels like condescension.

    So I have to hedge like crazy while doing this to try and get it across that I am saying this because I genuinely truly care and want to help. It’s quite plausible that it might not be that, but it’s also going to be better for them to explore faster, sooner, rather than slower and feeling dumb about earlier-self later like literally everyone has had that shared experience.

    There has to be a better way to go about this for more positive outcomes.

    • kristina [she/her]@hexbear.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      22
      ·
      edit-2
      10 months ago

      yeah thats true, i find it more helpful to just describe my experience in detail, theres been a lot of people that came to me and talked about stuff but just ended up being cis guys that like cock and crossdressing. they felt like they didnt fit in the masculinity box and felt weird because of it, but really they just wanted to redefine what masculinity was in their head, and the real masculinity is not giving a fuck about what other men think and being a sigma chad into the maid girl outfit grindset

      ok i really need to stop making really shit jokes in this thread. if you wanna amplify your experience of my posts, please imagine noam chomsky saying what im saying

    • Dessa [she/her]@hexbear.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      edit-2
      10 months ago

      Sometimes, knowing earlier just ramps up angst earlier. One situation that comes to mind is the teenager with no means to safely pursue a transition. Once an egg cracks, if you can’t act on it, it’s agonizing