So I would say I want to have kids, but it’s very dependent on being able to have certain standards adhered to- aka I wouldn’t just have kids no matter what if the biological clock was ticking etc. So with that said, I have question(s)/thoughts about those who have kids or plan on having them:
As someone who does value things like urbanism/strong social safety nets /all the things that I assume people on the actual left care about, it seems like it’s virtually impossible in the US at least to raise a family in an actual urban area, where you at most own a car but it’s not used on a regular basis, and still have good public education available that isn’t obsenely expensive. To use an example, Chicago is one of the few cities that isn’t craaazy expensive and you don’t need a car depending on what neighborhood you live in, but it’s well known that unless you go private school or a child tests into/wins a lottery to go to one of the amazing public schools, the general “school you go to because that’s based on your address” are all objectively bad/somewhat dangerous. Obviously there are histories of corruption/racism and the like that has caused this issue in Chicago, but I don’t think I’m wrong that I’d want to send my kid to a bad school just to prove a point. But on the other hand, I do feel like it’s just wrong to endorse the continued brokenness of needing to go private or get lucky to get a good education.
So basically, I wonder what is everyone’s plan? My partner is currently in the process of getting EU citizenship, but that’s most likely years away to being finalized. Is there any hope in the US to not have to make huge concessions when it comes to having children? Sometimes I wonder if even having two children is too much in terms of $$, but my partner is an only child and we both agree that if possible two would be best, as they were very affected negatively by being an only child, to the extent if I was ever single again I might legitimately hesitate to date an only child again. I guess I just would want to have somewhat of a plan/goal to be at so my partner and I could figure out when would be the time to have kids.
It just sometimes seems hopeless at least in the near future to raise kids in the US, and I’m hoping that’s not the case, and if it is I’d love to be able to try to work towards whatever steps needed (whether moving to X country or X state etc) in order to make that a reality.
So my kids are 11 and 8. First kiddo was unplanned and we were in our early 20s, so young but not too young. Suffice to say much of the solutions we came to were a figure it out as we go, and where we have gotten things right it feels like it’s 50/50 good planning/lucking the fuck out.
Housing is obviously the biggest impact to schools, your budget, and general quality of life. COMMUNITY LAND TRUSTS Google it, search for what exists in your area, search for what exists in cities you might like to live in. As a Seattle native I had just accepted that if I wanted to stay in the city I love I was just going to be a forever renter, until my wife found out about the program. You see with a CLT you own the home but not the land your home is on (honestly who the fuck cares), you have to qualify for the program, minimum set by ensuring your income can cover the mortgage and a maximum usually tied to average/median income levels, our program is also only offered to first-time homeowners people that haven’t had the opportunity to build equity in a house.
So what’s the benefit? Homes are sold at cost of building and buyers in the program agree to sell at that cost, there is a small equity % increase each year lived in the house to cover home costs. Not only does this make purchasing a house affordable but property taxes (huge in Washington thanks to our regressive tax structure with no income tax) are fixed to that set home price.
Good luck and I hope you two find something that works for you!