Have any queer vibes to share? Here’s your place!
Talk about what’s happening queerly in your life - like coming out, getting HRT, questioning, and all that good stuff.
No cishets allowed!
[CW: discussion of letting go internalized NBphobia and transphobia]
Started dating gay men again after accepting androgyny as my current gender goal. Like in my heart, I know I am a trans woman, but the years I spent living as such were more miserable than the ones I spent as actively closeted.
For a long time, I struggled with this reactionary NBphobia centered around the thought ‘I am only NB because I don’t feel safe as a binary trans woman; there is not a legitimate non-binary identity.’ After a lot of guilt and introspection, I have let go of this sentiment and love being an androgynous fairy!
I think an analogous incorrect thought process many people have is ‘many people are asexual as a trauma response. Therefore asexuality is not something innate-legitimate like homo-sexuality. Therefore it is not a legitimate orientation///it can be “”“fixed”“”’ This is a product or an extension of the ‘born this way’ narrative many trans people were/are forced to tell to gain any toleration from cishet society. It was one that had left deep scars on my psyche.
In actuality, what really matters is ‘where you are now’: what gender you are actually living as, what sexuality you are actually experiencing. Right now, I am not a trans woman. Right now, I AM non-binary and mainly read as a grungy femme gay man. Right now, that is the closest to my ‘legitimate’ gender that I can feel safe in living.
It’s great! I love my trans boyfriend. I like the casual sensuality I am able to have with cis gay dudes. I feel safe at night and in public in ways I did not as an obviously trans woman.
Whereas previously some amount of that was projected outwards or inflected how I viewed other queers, now I have mostly let go of self judgement and let go of the reactionary social attitudes that were necessary to justify my self-loathing and discomfort.
It’s good to be me. It’s good to be gay. It’s good to be queer.
Thank you for posting this it helped me to read
yay! happy to talk if you need help processing. Honestly, journal-posting on hexbear has been really good for me.
Shouts to being an androgynous fairy!
I went on a date with someone who I think is cool and want to keep seeing them but they live kind of far away and we’re both busy and I don’t know how to proceed from here. I want to at least be friends and hang out occasionally because I have no queer people in my social circle.
I love my girlfriend, and I love being her girlfriend :)
Researching HRT currently, lot of info to learn
I’m fresh out the psychward and I missed my gf so much but she’s asleep right next to me rn and my dog is cuddling next to me too. I am so fucking happy. I have so much to worry about but right now I just feel so loved.
I like men. And also women.
Have a date set for meeting my partner’s mom. The mom who constantly tells her son to be straight, mixes me up with his high school ex-girlfriend, and when he told her that I’m trans, willfully forgot it, then when reminded started referring to me as his “friend”.
Also also, said bf told me “I’m not sure about most things, but at least I’m very sure about being a man.” and he has no idea how much that means to me as one of those gals who keeps accidentally dating eggs.
It’s dumb, but it’s a fucking relief.
hii everyone
hello!!!
Hiii artificialset
Hello.
I asked my friends and family to call me they/them. I went by any pronouns for a while, but people just defaulted to what they were already used to, which didn’t feel quite right. They’re all cool about it, but still getting used to it.
Gonna happypost a little - nine years on from starting hormones, I’m pretty pleased with myself & my life.
In some ways it kind of feels like I haven’t changed dramatically, because I don’t do makeup or dress fancy like all the freshly-trans transfemmes do, but I also feel very chill. I have shed my personally-unhealthy compulsion towards aggressively feminine clothes and commonly wear jeans and oversized men’s tees, or just loose flannels/button ups. I dress for a balance of comfort and aesthetic, and the resulting androgynous-leaning-femme look is something I like. I don’t even wear a bra most days, because they’re UNCOMFORTABLE AND SUCK! I basically dress like a tomboy I guess, and it feels so good.
I share a home with my wife who I love, I’ve been out full-time for the entire time I’ve been on hormones, and shockingly I am building a small social circle of queer people online, which is not something I’ve ever had before. I’m working through issues around being asexual, I love myself & my body, I’m happy being autistic in my own space. Who I am now is who 15-year-old me desperately wanted to be. I am my own goals from a decade ago.
Also I’m gonna read Blackshirts & Reds this coming week which is gonna be awesome.
Realized that I need FFS, but it seems my options are to either risk going to a cheap surgeon or save up for several years in order to afford going to one of the more reputable clinics. Being trans under capitalism is just so great…
Starting to feel a little nipple pain. It feels quite early but the doctor said it can start at two weeks so I guess that’s normal since I’m at like 3. I’m just gonna assume the actual growth takes a while.
I am very very excited and can’t stop thinking about it all the time though. Especially since it’s the first tangible change I’ve noticed outside of libido stuff which was instant and felt more like the Spiro than the Estro to me.
I got noticeable growth beginning pretty soon after the increased sensitivity starting (within weeks). Like by 6 weeks there was clearly something there, and now I’m just over 3 months in and it’s actually pretty remarkable. It probably depends a lot on genetics, though.
Oh no why did you tell me this my brain is burning with excitement now. I’m turning into a happy mush.
But just remember it happens differently for everyone, sometimes it can take longer and it will probably take years to finish.
I know, just the possibility of seeing a physical change so soon is exciting me though.
Chances are you’ll have just a little less than the cis women in your family (like genetic family lol). Plenty of our trans sisters have broken the mold and have bigger bazongas than everyone else in their family but its a reasonable expectation.
I also got a second growth spurt, no idea why but I’m up another cup after a couple months randomly after growth stopped for like 6 months.
Gonna have my yearly checkup tomorrow, time to see if they were telling the truth about gel being exactly the same as patches when they denied my request for a premature blood test cause supply issues forced me to make a switch.
Also gonna see if they make a comment about my chest this time, so far Im pretty sure Ive received some sort of comment about it every year.
Gender clinic confirmed as finally hiring nurses with tact, or maybe they wrote in my notes “don’t ask if they’re real”
Day n of questioning whether I’m ace
yeahh kinda same for me
nsfw talk
I think it’s very notable that when I’m looking at porn I tend to skip the sex parts lol, usually the leadup is so much more hot and a lot of the time the sex stuff is just kinda gross
i’ll probably start calling myself semiasexual or something because I definitely wanna get banged and have historically enjoyed sex just not in any normative way
spoiler
Honestly still hard to wrap my mind around the fact that people get enjoyment out of watching other people have sex. It kinda grosses me out, I think all the porn I’ve ever consumed is soft core I was 18 the first time I masturbated, believe it or not, which adds to my potential ace case.
I have only had penetrative sex once and really hated it. I had a sexual experience with a guy once too and hated it as well
My brain fucking sucks
spoiler
Yeah that’s super understandable honestly. Figuring out the sexuality is really annoying but I’m sure we’ll both get to a good point with it 😔
There’s ace ppl who have sex “just” because they like the feeling, or because they do it for their partner. In the end it comes down to the definition: asexuality is about not experiencing sexual attraction to people. are you sexually attracted to people? Or only when you’re good friends (demi), or only rarely (aceflux/grayace)? Or not at all (ace)? Or somewhere inbetween? Maybe I’m not saying something new, maybe this helps, and you can also tell me to delete this if I spoke out of turn
Took like 2 months but I’m finally out to my immediate family as trans
Congrats comrade
awaagh
mood, girls shouldnt have to work, i should just make a living by laying around looking all cute and twinky and being spoiled by some woman who’s at least roughly a decade older than me
just like me fr fr
me toooooooooooooooooooooo
LOL your new avatar is so good
hell yeah
Just sittin here twiddling my thumbs waiting for bottom surgery clinic to finally take me on as a patient and get on their wait list. I’m waiting to wait, ugh.