• star_wraith [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    8 months ago

    I’ve wanted to say something about this for a while, but just didn’t know how to bring it up. Because any problems I have are inconsequential compared to others right now. But idk, maybe talking through it will help me and if anyone else is feeling the same.

    I have little kids of my own. Over the last two weeks, you would think I would want to spend more time with them and be around them. But tbh it’s been the opposite. It’s actually kinda hard to be around them.

    I know it’s not because they make me think of what children and their parents are going through in Gaza right now. Like, I can’t even really think about that anyway. I know what it is because it’s been a very consuming thought in my head:

    “Why do other children and parents have to suffer while mine get to live in peace and security?”

    There’s just this fundamental injustice to it all. An injustice I feel powerless to do anything about. I’m not religious so I can’t take any sort of comfort in knowing there’s peace and justice on the other side.

    But that’s why we have to keep on going. There’s so few of us in this world - basically just communists and others opposed to imperialism - who actually want a better world where these things don’t have to happen. If we don’t fight for that future, then no one will and we are doomed.

    • Melonius [he/him]@hexbear.net
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      8 months ago

      “Why do other children and parents have to suffer while mine get to live in peace and security?”

      I can fully relate to how you’re feeling, but I think its really important not to ascribe your guilt on to your child. Your child is innocent and deserves peace and security, as all children should have. You also owe it to your child to teach them and raise them better than you may have been. Alienation is one of the most effective weapons of capitalism, and it takes conscious effort to fight.

      If/when your kid is old enough, try talking with your kid about how you feel. They have far fewer brainworms

      • star_wraith [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        8 months ago

        It’s a fair point. Raising my kids to be empathetic as well as informed about what’s going on in the world is like my #1 job, moreso than even my job job.

        • Melonius [he/him]@hexbear.net
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          8 months ago

          Yeah I’ve had “wtf am I even doing here” moments at work while kids are in school/day care. It’s crucial that we’re involved in their lives, unless you have a great network of people who can impart those same values.

          Like I said I totally relate to what you’re feeling though. I’ll be playing with the kids and thinking about shit and they’ll notice I’m not being my usual self and I hate it. The parenting comm doesn’t have a ton of posts but might be a good place to check out or post in.