I’ve been on a slow but steady decline for the past several years. I don’t move at all, barely leaving my room let alone the house; I’ve taken to eating shit I order out instead of cooking meals myself; I don’t get involved with any local orgs besides sending dues every month; I haven’t read a book in months; I regularly fail to perform bare minimum hygiene. The only reason I’m able to keep alive at all is because I haven’t moved out of my parents’ house, burdening them with helping me. It would be understandable if I was living hand to mouth and had barely any free time, but I am one of the small percent of burgers who isn’t a month away from destitution and I have more than enough free time. Not to mention I receive no shortage of help.

Since I can’t blame my material circumstances, I can only conclude that I am this way because I always refuse to take personal responsibility. I know that changing myself so that I can be, at bare minimum, not a drain on society is going to take a lot of work, work that I always put off due to cowardice. Idealist as it is, I feel like I have some innate metaphysical trait that makes me this way, and the entirety of my failure to pick myself up is due to a moral failing on my part and nothing more.

How do I force myself to unfuck myself so that I can actually be useful for revolution instead of yet another useless first world lotus eater?

  • JK1348 [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    The mod removed it but I’m assuming this is kinda the daredevil route?

    Not trying to insult just curious as to the thought method in your initial post.

    • Ronin_5
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      1 year ago

      Just from personal experience. Though it wasn’t hiking, it was urban exploration, which was far more dangerous.

      I dunno if it was the adrenaline of having the floor collapsing under me or finding my way out of a building that’s locked from the outside that lit a flame under my ass, but it worked.

      • JK1348 [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        1 year ago

        This is cool I’m glad it worked for you, but I can see why that wouldn’t help OP

        I do hiking myself but I’m much too brown for urban exploration I would hate to be shot by cops on private property