By “party”, I mean a physical social gathering of people for the purposes of having fun. It may be used in a sentence as “I am throwing a party!” or “Let’s party!”.
Basically what I am trying to say is the default “party”.
I’ve never been to any, and I have no idea how people spend their time on parties, so I am curious how you did.
Since I didn’t see any responses that directly answered the question of what do you DO, I’ve prepared a short guide for a generic social gathering. This guide may be inappropriate in some contexts such as a dinner party or event/tv show watching party, etcetera:
This was probably too much info. I have insomnia. I hope someone reads this.
I have some details that could supplement the outline.
Just for reference. Talk and socialise genarally take up anywhere from 80-95% of total time spent at parties. Generally most other activities include socialising even though they’re structured. Beer pong you talk about beer pong and/or make fun of people’s throws as well as just regular talking.
For neurodivergent people I recommend searching areas with fewer people, smoking is very convenient in those situations for a break between 3 sets of talking 10 minutes. Alcohol really helps too since it removes some of the talking friction. Dancing is also a good option since it’s less talking and is a structured activity that’s well received at most parties.
I enjoy parties as a charge of pace and getting rid of loneliness for example. Talking to friends and ignoring the rest is also fun but parties are exhausting imo.
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You did a truly excellent job of answering the question thoroughly! Thanks for putting in so much effort, I bet this will be really helpful. ❤️
Just the right amount.
Like a story about a cat with a good friend: short but memorable
You’re not the first one saying a person should arrive late. Why is this a thing? Is it just a cultural norm in the West? Or is it a thing everywhere?
Not late late, just late enough that the host has had time to make sure everything is in order, or just to not be the first guest to show up.
Usually a party lasts at least a few hours, so showing up 30 minutes after the start of the party isn’t “being late,” it’s just showing up to a party in progress. Unless it’s a specifically scheduled “arrive at 8pm” kind of affair, in which case the host would mention it and you’d be expected to be there at that time.
Because arriving at a party when there’s not many people around can be awkward especially if you aren’t already friends with the host. So you wait for more people to arrive first.
It’s a really weird thing and something you should carefully consider based on the type of party. The 15 minutes late advice only really applies to getting drunk parties in college.
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God, that sounds miserable. Good to know my neurodivergent ass wasn’t missing anything.
It can be fun to meet (new) people. I think, the key is to be sincerely interested in others and don’t worry too much what they think about you.
If e.g. you are interested in programming or understanding how thinks work, it could be interesting to try to understand how other people tick. What motivates them, why etc. And if you get the impression that someone looks down on you, that’s just another point of data about the world that person is living in. So the fun can stem from broadening your horizon (or from finding common ground).
As a neurodivergent, I get through these events by pretending to be an alien anthropologist trying to blend in and study humans. Conversations are usually easy to start by asking, “So, how do you know the host?” Most people enjoy talking about themselves, so if you nod and listen, you’ll be popular.
Occasionally you’ll meet someone truly interesting. Arrange to meet with them later and follow up. This is pretty much the best way to make friends in the modern age, with intentionality.
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Good parties are wonderful, the type of party described above does sound miserable but you can choose which parties you want to attend. Personally I like parties that revolve around board games and interesting conversations where the only real social rule is to bring something: cheeses, an appetizer, weird booze, just something so all the provisions aren’t the sole duty of the host.
I’m ADHD, never investigated but scoring high on ASD assessments. It can be fun, with the right people. It wholly depends on who’s there. I’m usually with the people sitting outside, having fun conversations over a beer and/or a joint. It’s just the genetic term for “gathering where there’s food and substances”. You’ll find that you can often meet other NDs overwhelmed by the amount of people and music waiting for you over there. Chill times.
Reading comprehension seems difficult, so I’ll go over it again, quoted verbatim from my previous comment:
Here’s what you can deduce from this sentence:
Here’s what you can’t deduce from this sentence:
Why do you do this?
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bruh
Hi am I good at dancing?
Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
am I good at dancing
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Own it!