The Powerball jackpot’s at $1.55 billion. Immediate cash value is $679 million. Certainly not enough to abolish all of the police, but after taxes, we could perhaps try to bribe the city of Atlanta double the amount of the police budget in exchange for abolishing their department. Unfortunately, (1) they’d never take the deal and (2) we’d be murdered by either the police or the feds or at least indicted for sponsoring terrorism. Therefore we’ll need to save some of the money for security that can’t be infiltrated and lawyers and/or judges to have our backs.

What, then? Fund every Stop Cop City org beyond their wildest dreams? Saturate the airwaves? Buy a few city councilors?

Since the odds of winning are 1-in-292.2 million, we should just donate to an active org directly instead of wasting our two dollars, obviously. But what the hell. I saw the jackpot and couldn’t help wondering what it could do in the right hands.