Active listening is a skill that I personally think more people should learn. Following the model of communication (with the feedback loop) I posted on the basics of com., when listening you are still communicating and giving feedback.

Active listening means to, well, actively listen. Not just hear what you want to hear, or wait for your chance to speak, but to really listen to what the other person is saying. It’s a skill that requires practice and in the beginnings a conscious effort.

To be an active listener, you need to avoid any distractions. Turn your body towards the other person, look them in the eyes, and focus on what they’re saying. It helps to repeat what they say in your head so that you stay focused and actually hear what they’re saying, and not only part of it.

Don’t interrupt them either, let them stop talking by themselves. Therapists learn to do this so if you’ve been to one think about how they listen to you. Usually they will let you speak and once you stop or drift off completely, they will ask you a question, but never while you are speaking.

It’s important when listening not to judge. You might be surprised what people admit to when they feel in a safe environment. Stuff that they’ve kept secret, or stuff that you would never have suspected.

Active listening creates a rapport of trust, and is useful to create a safe environment for your comrades. I think it can also help us not look like the weird communist but a well-adjusted, emotionally mature member of society.