Return it to Pepsi.
Two chicks at the same time
Thats it? If you had a fighter jet, you’d do two chicks at the same time?
Chicks love fighter jets
You can’t pickup chicks in a fighter jet
Oh, you know what? You could removed about anything couldn’t you? We’re going to get a fighter jet, and you’re worried about chicks. What chicks are we gonna pick up, man? And secondly, how are you gonna pick up chicks in a car that looks like that?
Maybe you can’t
Tom Cruise begs to differ
Not with that attitude
Let’s ask that General who just stopped by to pickup the flag what he thinks.
T. Least sane lemmy user
Well, not all chicks love fighter jets
Well, the type of chicks that would double up on a dude like me do
If you don’t like fighter jets then you ain’t a chick
And it’s really hard to have sex in a fighter jet. It’s not exactly a roomy interior.
For having sex, the best experience is a minivan.
Well then trade it in for a minivan, duh.
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Considering it is apparently a federal offense to tamper with aviation debris or accident scenes (assuming the plane looks intact) absolutely nothing, call local cops, they call AF.
I discover the crashed F35 in my lone walk in the woods. As I start to take it apart for parts, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It’s her father’s business. She’s Lockheed. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the feds come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don’t trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he’s the chief of FBI. This is where the story gets interesting. I tell Lockheed to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She’s been waiting for me all these years. She’s never taken another lover. I don’t care, I don’t show up. I go to Berlin. That’s where I stashed the F35
question why in the hell I am in South Carolina?
That is a very good question. Next question please.
Great BBQ. Those rednecks do NOT fuck around with a pork shoulder. Charleston has really great food. Also, the hunley museum is pretty cool.
Otherwise, it’s great if you also happen to be into book burning, or if you’re a completionist collecting STDs.
You were visiting south of the border.
Same, I live nowhere near the place
Call the number on one of the “Plane missing! Have you seen me? ✈️ ✈️ ✈️” posters the Air Force put up all over the neighborhood.
turns up with weirdly f35 fighter jet shaped stomach. No, officer! I have never seen any jet, none at all! Nope, not a single tasty fighter jet around here! hic
Its on the light poles with the lost cat.
Trade it in for a boatload of pepsi points.
Announce an auction for the location on the War Thunder forums
Claim 10% finders fee and retire.
Assuming I could figure out how to turn that thing on, I would definitely:
- Take off
- Go to maximum velocity
- Burn out all the fuel
- Acknowledge that I have no idea of where or how to land
- Look for the button to the ejection seat
- Glide down towards the equator
- Eyeball the necessary altitude
- Push the button
- Pull the parachute cord
- Flip both the birds
- Land on a beach
- Walk up to the bar
- Ask for a beer
- Run from the bill
Minor detail, the original pilot left it via the ejector seat…
I’ll bring a lawn chair then.
take off
Knew you meant it as a joke but i thought it interesting to share that Fighters don’t have a simple “start” button, here’s a F-16 startup sequence for reference.
Good thing I’ve watched that video, twice then!
Most of that isn’t involved in actually starting the plane.
They are things that would be good to have done to fly safely. Something analogous to turning on and tuning the radio in a car. You can absolutely start the engine and drive the car without doing that.
Limp to the bar, stumble away from the bill.
Ejection seats often cause career-ending musculoskeletal injuries to the lumbar spine and hips. It’s is a very violent way to leave an airplane, but much less violent than the alternative.
I would fly into the dangerzone.
dramatically intense 80s electric guitar solo
get as far away as possible, the smoldering wreckage will be full of toxic gasses and contaminants
Sit in the cockpit and make plane, missile, and machine gun noises since I don’t even know how to turn one on let alone fly it.
Pretty sure this one comes without a seat, and the aftermarket prices are ridiculius!
Assuming no consequences, I’d love to open various panels and try and figure out what does what. It’d be really cool to see inside one of those.
Aaaaand this is how you get suspected of being a Chinese spy.
I said no consequences…
It’s a Marine F-35B and likely crashed into a lake.
ba dum tss!