Guys, you gotta cut these relatable memes. I’m starting to think I have autism.
I love being diagnosed by memes, the future is awesome!
That’s me, but I’m not autistic. I’m just an asshole.
I’m sad to admit it but those are not mutaly exclusive.
“How are you?” as part of a greeting is a phatic expression in the English language. In the context described, the first person doesn’t actually care how you are either.
Willy Wonka would disapprove.
You can always defend the meaningfulness of this expression by answering honestly and at length. Which is what I usually do. Either people are genuinely interested in my well being or they learn not to talk to me. Win - Win.
This is why I don’t do small talk. I either don’t respond in the socially appropriate manner or I’m quietly panicking trying to formulate the socially correct response. Let’s just not.
Ok, so you’re at the supermarket and the cashier says “Hello, how are you today?”. Firstly, it’s taken most of my life to get over the fact that the only correct answer is “I’m fine.” Great, that’s progress. It used to be that I’d consider how I feel and give an honest answer (incorrect response). The little white lie when you’re not fine is difficult to get past, but I’m getting there.
Now, if you then follow up with “How are you?” I get the impression that they’d rather you not ask. FFS, I’d rather you not ask me either. I get that it would be incredibly tedious having everyone ask you how you’re going all day long… welcome to the club. What’s the deal??
But why adapt to it in such a way? Isn’t it fucking rude to force someone to lie about their emotional state while remaining ignorant about how they are truely doing? I started to try and find short tacky answers also for the less favourable states, at leaast with people i meet regularly: “… somewhat difficult day”, “Oh, I’m exhausted” … “but I see/hope that you are doing well? / but you look tired, too?” – That might be a surprisingly easy attempt to a little non-smalltalk conversation, if they have the time.
It’s not like they care either. It’s just what you say
I’m fine by the way
I care! But I really have no intent of finding out how through small talk, fuck that. Exist by me for a bit and let’s do stuff. Build some light connection and complain/vent a bit when we’re comfortable
Holy shit i do this.
I have other psychological impairments, I suffer for GAD and depression but I never understood the need for small talk. Sometimes people I haven’t seen or been in contact with for years stops me in the street to ask me what’s up and I just can’t wait to resume my walk.
Removed by mod
