Ok, so you’re at the supermarket and the cashier says “Hello, how are you today?”. Firstly, it’s taken most of my life to get over the fact that the only correct answer is “I’m fine.” Great, that’s progress. It used to be that I’d consider how I feel and give an honest answer (incorrect response). The little white lie when you’re not fine is difficult to get past, but I’m getting there.
Now, if you then follow up with “How are you?” I get the impression that they’d rather you not ask. FFS, I’d rather you not ask me either. I get that it would be incredibly tedious having everyone ask you how you’re going all day long… welcome to the club. What’s the deal??
But why adapt to it in such a way? Isn’t it fucking rude to force someone to lie about their emotional state while remaining ignorant about how they are truely doing? I started to try and find short tacky answers also for the less favourable states, at leaast with people i meet regularly: “… somewhat difficult day”, “Oh, I’m exhausted” … “but I see/hope that you are doing well? / but you look tired, too?” – That might be a surprisingly easy attempt to a little non-smalltalk conversation, if they have the time.
Ok, so you’re at the supermarket and the cashier says “Hello, how are you today?”. Firstly, it’s taken most of my life to get over the fact that the only correct answer is “I’m fine.” Great, that’s progress. It used to be that I’d consider how I feel and give an honest answer (incorrect response). The little white lie when you’re not fine is difficult to get past, but I’m getting there.
Now, if you then follow up with “How are you?” I get the impression that they’d rather you not ask. FFS, I’d rather you not ask me either. I get that it would be incredibly tedious having everyone ask you how you’re going all day long… welcome to the club. What’s the deal??
But why adapt to it in such a way? Isn’t it fucking rude to force someone to lie about their emotional state while remaining ignorant about how they are truely doing? I started to try and find short tacky answers also for the less favourable states, at leaast with people i meet regularly: “… somewhat difficult day”, “Oh, I’m exhausted” … “but I see/hope that you are doing well? / but you look tired, too?” – That might be a surprisingly easy attempt to a little non-smalltalk conversation, if they have the time.