every day of my life is pain i suck at being social i will say one thing and mean another. i made some friends only to have them taken away from me due the rule saying all teachers are monsters my parents drugged i thought i could trust them i am still living with them when will this pain will only end when i kill myself. then i will be in blissful non-existence i also spend my of most days depressed because of all this
Wikipedia maintains a list of hotlines: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines Please reach out to someone, and as @ihaphleas@lemmy.ml offered, we can try get you the country specific helpline resources you may need.