Edit: Im asking because I’m currently going through some serious depression and I’ve been forgetting stuff lately. I wake up every morning with a panic attack, I am too tired to do anything. I barely had any appetite to eat. I just wanted to see if I’m the only one. Hearing stories from others makes me feel less alone.
Sorry if I sound pathetic af, I’m just sad
Edit 2: I’m gonna mark this as NSFW because the potential very traumatic stuff.
Breaking my shoulder blade in physical therapy while pushing myself extremely hard to recover from a broken neck and back. That’s when I had to acknowledge I’m partially disabled, and no amount of pushing was going to change that.
I got much more balanced after, but it is really hard to slow yourself down to match your physical limitations. That was probably my biggest mental challenge to overcome. It took another 2 years before I slept more than 6 hours, most nights were less than 4. I was a dysfunctional zombie for most of 5 years.
OP, I know it is hard, but absolutely any regular physical activity will help tremendously. I struggle to sit or stand for any length of time. Posture is hard on me. It feels like muscles are missing and just failing. I never feel great and usually feel like I can’t, but I still ride a bike most days. I was an amateur racer before I got hurt. So I had a major advantage in conditioning. The balance I get from riding gets me though my lows both physically and mentally. It only takes two months of pushing yourself to develop a physical routine before it will flip and just as quickly it will become as hard of a habit to stop. I was very nearly killed on a bike, but I’ve ridden most days since 2009, and managed to drop and keep off over 150lbs, even in my limited state. Exercise really is the best medicine for almost every situation.
I really need to get a bike again and then start using it to get to the office…
I had a similar experience, not with broken bones but with joint injuries and generalized hypermobility. I had so many trouble joints that the physical therapy for one joint would be hard on others, sometimes to the point of reinjuring. Finding exercises was a minefield and keeping a routine was a constant balancing act.
For years I had to go mind numbingly slow. I used to weight lift and the few exercises I could do were incredibly boring in comparison. I wanted to be able to crush the exercises and advance out of the boredom, but my body simply couldn’t keep up without new injuries. It’s been about 4 years now and I’m finally able to add some exercises I like, but it’s painfully slow. I like walking but every time I step on the treadmill I want to go faster, longer. Then I injure myself because I went 2.5 mph instead of 2 and 1.5 mi instead of 1. Frustrating.
When I look back, I can see the improvements. I realize a joint that used to be in constant pain hasn’t been trouble for a while. I almost cried when I could kneel on the floor again. The physical therapy is working. What I thought would take weeks takes months, what I thought would take months takes years. But if I’m going to live several more decades (hopefully), I have that time. So might as well keep up with it.
For me, it has been a realization that there are a lot of small muscles that are used to hold up the human head. No one has been able to figure out what exactly I have damaged, but it is probably quite a few things.
If you do the math for the speeds involved, I basically took the equivalent of a headfirst dive from a ten story building and survived. It really was a “I barely survived” situation; no hyperbole required.
When I push, I break stuff, and I just didn’t see any returns. I still do a daily routine on my own, but there is no reason for me to spend the money on PT with no results. I did that for 3 years. I’m at 10 this coming February.