• Star Wars Enjoyer A
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    3 years ago

    You know, when I asked for a guillotine, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind.

    (is it okay to joke about this? hopefully it is, if not then I apologize)

    • MerchantsOfMisery@lemmy.ml
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      3 years ago

      He’s a cop. Perfectly fine joke to make, in my opinion.

      “A once proud and independent man who protects the public from harm now relies on his wife to assist him with going to the bathroom, showering, brushing his teeth, getting dressed, and buttoning his shirt,” the lawsuit says. “He has great difficulties holding a pen, feeding himself, tying his shoes, using tools, and assisting around the house with chores such as laundry and washing dishes.”

      Cop loses his part of his thumb and suddenly he needs someone to help him to go the bathroom, shower, brush his teeth, get dressed… and how has great difficulties with doing chores like laundry and washing dishes. Yeah, right-- this guy’s just looking for a payday.

      While I’m here, I’d like to point out that it’s pretty interesting that a chief deputy rolls around in a 2020 Mercedes SUV that starts at $60k USD. Must be nice. Cop gets his thumb stuck in his gaudy luxury SUV’s door and now he needs his wife to wipe his ass after taking a shit? Fucking please, give me a break. This is peak America.

      "Fuck if ya leg broke, removed– hop on your good foot" is the quote that comes to mind when I read this article. This guy would rather have his wife wipe his ass than learn how to wipe with the other hand.

      • testingthis@lemmy.ml
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        3 years ago

        Since he’s a pig, inherently a bad person, seems likely he’s making stuff up and playing the system to his advantage. At least his community is slightly safer with him slowed down some

        • NFT screenshotter
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          3 years ago

          seems likely he’s making stuff up and playing the system to his advantage

          Tbf that’s how the system works as far as I’m aware. You start off going for as much as you possibly can and the defense will try and bring it down and make a deal.

          also

          Since he’s a pig, inherently a bad person, seems likely he’s making stuff up

          feels like a really weird train of thought