Hello everyone~ The megathread is very eepy this week so I am being very quiet and not posting a whole essay as that might disturb their rest. The megathread does a lot of work for us after all, so they deserve to rest a little. Our regularly scheduled effortposts will continue next week.

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  • rando895 [she/her]
    10·
    5 months ago

    Maybe some childhood trauma? But mostly good feels:

    spoiler

    I have had a lot of dreams throughout my life that were some flavour of “they’re going to find out your faking it!” (It being gender something)

    And since my egg exploded into a thousand pieces I haven’t really had any dreams where I see myself as any gender presentation.

    Well, the other night, I had a dream that a friend and I were going to another friend’s house, and this friend was (relevant) Muslim. We get there, she invites us in, and she wasn’t wearing her (it was a dream so I don’t know, hijab maybe? ) and I was confused. I said something like " ohh, your not wearing your (hijab)?" And she said to me: “well, you’re a woman aren’t you?”.

    So I guess this means my brain is starting to work through the mess of -phobia’s and emotional suppressions/repressions , and moving towards acceptance?

    Not sure lol but I know I have been on an emotional rollercoaster, and I am sooooo happy that I have incredibly supportive friends! Like (I’m getting yappy now lol) I was terrified to come out to them, but it turns out that its because I didn’t know they cared so much about me and now I’m both happy that they do, and that I’m now emotionally available enough to know it. Family will be harder for me but we all have to go at our own speed, and it sort of feels like I’m speed running it.

    More yappy lol:

    spoiler

    Now that I feel myself around friends, all I want to do is hang out and chat with them. I worry, maybe unfounded, that I am waaay too much (adhd makes impulse control really hard) for them. And I probably am to some extent. Idk, its probably good to spread myself out between different friends/friend groups so I don’t Icarus this lol