Top US political parties, Democrats and Republicans, have foisted two unlikeable and incompetent candidates on the public. Voters must pick between two poisons: strychnine or cyanide.

In the past, Americans could argue that they possessed a vibrant democracy. But no longer. A “simple lie” was stripped bare on the world stage on June 27, exposing a “complex truth”: American “democracy” is represented by two repugnant geriatrics yelling at each other.

They are the least-liked major party candidates in three decades. Aleksandr Dugin compared Donald Trump and Joe Biden at the debate to the animated TV series, “Beavis and Butt-head”—two teenagers described by Rolling Stone “as thunderously stupid and excruciatingly ugly.”

On November 5, a country of 325 million people will be forced to choose between a felon and sexual deviant, dubbed the “Orange Gangster” for his orange spray-on tan and criminality; or “Genocide Joe,” the dementia-addled and adult diaper-wearing chief of crime family

The situation with Biden is much worse. His physical health has declined: he cannot ascend or descend stairs and has had many public falls, and he is known to wear adult diapers because of his inability to control bodily functions; hence his nickname, “Grandpa Poopy Pants.”

The way this news is written is SUPER BASED.