Bit of a silly thing for me to worry about rn, but does anyone have any advice on just like, how to start dating, just in general? I’ve reached a point where I’m more comfortable and happy and I feel like I might finally have the actual emotional bandwidth (and time) to date. But I’m also pretty worried since I literally never have before, the closest thing was being asked out once and having a few crushes at one point in time. And because of that lack of experience I just have no clue where to start really. I guess dating apps? But idk which ones are decent and I’m not sure how comfortable I really am with them besides. I guess they’re kind of my only option rn until uni starts up again, though.
Also, while I’m not actually ace, I’ve realised that the idea of having sex kinda terrifies me with how dysphoric I am, and I have no clue how I’d properly build a relationship without that as an expectation. So any advice on that front from any ace comrades here would also be welcome.
I’m not ace, but if you do pretty much any irl trans support groups they also bring a lot of single people together with compatible sexualities together - so besides the purpose of coming together, solidarity, helping each other it can also be a nice 3rd place to meet people.
Uni and classes are also cheat codes to meeting people. Same with a lot of uni clubs. So long as you don’t go in there with the attitude of “I’m only here to date and date alone” you should have fun even if you don’t end up meeting people.
My ex was ace, they aren’t my ex because of being ace. We were together for 11 years. Navigating it wasn’t that bad, for them sex wasn’t a big deal or something they sought out but they were happy to be a partner. It’d probably be easier to date someone who’s also ace or low sex drive but it’s not impossible to be with someone who isn’t also ace. Especially if you’re poly, but my ex and I weren’t and we still managed to get on. I dunno, it never really bothered me and while we were together I loved them way more than I missed frequent sex or a partner that got horny… now that I’m with a new partner I can say I’m definitely not ace, lol, but there was a while when I wondered.
Definitely all good advice, although unfortunately there aren’t any trans support groups near me outside of the uni clubs. I’ve been getting much more active at my uni ever since I got kicked out though so maybe I ought to just wait till next semester and try being even more active. I definitely don’t mind if I just make more friends, especially since most of my friends just graduated or moved away.
Good to know that it’s not super hard to navigate that sort of relationship though. I didn’t really expect it to be, but I guess I just have my own reservations about that sort of relationship that I’ll have to work through on my own, given that it’s mostly a dysphoria thing. I’m kinda just worried about my hypothetical partner asking me for it and how I’d react. Since I feel like my initial impulse would stil be a ‘sure’ even if it meant feeling really uncomfortable later, especially since, knowing me, I’d probably not communicate that discomfort in the moment. Idk it’s weird.
Happy Early May Day!
Bit of a silly thing for me to worry about rn, but does anyone have any advice on just like, how to start dating, just in general? I’ve reached a point where I’m more comfortable and happy and I feel like I might finally have the actual emotional bandwidth (and time) to date. But I’m also pretty worried since I literally never have before, the closest thing was being asked out once and having a few crushes at one point in time. And because of that lack of experience I just have no clue where to start really. I guess dating apps? But idk which ones are decent and I’m not sure how comfortable I really am with them besides. I guess they’re kind of my only option rn until uni starts up again, though.
Also, while I’m not actually ace, I’ve realised that the idea of having sex kinda terrifies me with how dysphoric I am, and I have no clue how I’d properly build a relationship without that as an expectation. So any advice on that front from any ace comrades here would also be welcome.
I’m not ace, but if you do pretty much any irl trans support groups they also bring a lot of single people together with compatible sexualities together - so besides the purpose of coming together, solidarity, helping each other it can also be a nice 3rd place to meet people.
Uni and classes are also cheat codes to meeting people. Same with a lot of uni clubs. So long as you don’t go in there with the attitude of “I’m only here to date and date alone” you should have fun even if you don’t end up meeting people.
My ex was ace, they aren’t my ex because of being ace. We were together for 11 years. Navigating it wasn’t that bad, for them sex wasn’t a big deal or something they sought out but they were happy to be a partner. It’d probably be easier to date someone who’s also ace or low sex drive but it’s not impossible to be with someone who isn’t also ace. Especially if you’re poly, but my ex and I weren’t and we still managed to get on. I dunno, it never really bothered me and while we were together I loved them way more than I missed frequent sex or a partner that got horny… now that I’m with a new partner I can say I’m definitely not ace, lol, but there was a while when I wondered.
Definitely all good advice, although unfortunately there aren’t any trans support groups near me outside of the uni clubs. I’ve been getting much more active at my uni ever since I got kicked out though so maybe I ought to just wait till next semester and try being even more active. I definitely don’t mind if I just make more friends, especially since most of my friends just graduated or moved away.
Good to know that it’s not super hard to navigate that sort of relationship though. I didn’t really expect it to be, but I guess I just have my own reservations about that sort of relationship that I’ll have to work through on my own, given that it’s mostly a dysphoria thing. I’m kinda just worried about my hypothetical partner asking me for it and how I’d react. Since I feel like my initial impulse would stil be a ‘sure’ even if it meant feeling really uncomfortable later, especially since, knowing me, I’d probably not communicate that discomfort in the moment. Idk it’s weird.