I don’t want someone she/her-ing me because I told them to do that, I want them to she/her me because they actually genuinely think that it fits me
Are these two things mutually exclusive though? Somebody could be gendering you correctly both because you told them your pronouns and because they genuinely think that those pronouns fit you. And even in the case where they didn’t consider how she/her might fit you before you brought it up, they still might come to feel that it simply fits you better. I realise this is not a big consolation for the feelings of being an imposter, especially because you can’t know whether someone is genuine about it without being at least decent friends with them. But I think it’s nevertheless important to not lose sight of this.
I definitely agree more broadly on the distaste for pronoun circles, although in my case moreso due to how painful it was for me to lie the first few times I had them in uni before I was comfortable coming out.
But there’s plenty more to being a woman than just looking like one. I still don’t pass super well, but being more femme in my presentation and being friends with more cis women and trans people has made me feel much more like a woman than waiting 3 years for HRTs effects to make me perfectly passable ever would have done. It’s incredibly hard to push yourself to do those first steps to present femme though, and it takes time to become comfortable just like it does for HRT to change your body.
Idk, this ramble probably isn’t helpful for you at all. At best the only “advice” I’d give is just trying to make friends with queer people on your campus and present yourself authentically. But that’s not really a consolation at all, especially since it’s a little bit luck dependant for how good your friends are.
Happy Early May Day!
spoiler
Are these two things mutually exclusive though? Somebody could be gendering you correctly both because you told them your pronouns and because they genuinely think that those pronouns fit you. And even in the case where they didn’t consider how she/her might fit you before you brought it up, they still might come to feel that it simply fits you better. I realise this is not a big consolation for the feelings of being an imposter, especially because you can’t know whether someone is genuine about it without being at least decent friends with them. But I think it’s nevertheless important to not lose sight of this.
I definitely agree more broadly on the distaste for pronoun circles, although in my case moreso due to how painful it was for me to lie the first few times I had them in uni before I was comfortable coming out.
But there’s plenty more to being a woman than just looking like one. I still don’t pass super well, but being more femme in my presentation and being friends with more cis women and trans people has made me feel much more like a woman than waiting 3 years for HRTs effects to make me perfectly passable ever would have done. It’s incredibly hard to push yourself to do those first steps to present femme though, and it takes time to become comfortable just like it does for HRT to change your body.
Idk, this ramble probably isn’t helpful for you at all. At best the only “advice” I’d give is just trying to make friends with queer people on your campus and present yourself authentically. But that’s not really a consolation at all, especially since it’s a little bit luck dependant for how good your friends are.