This Friday, a protester in China decided to protest China’s authoritarian policies by dumping a can of chicken soup on an ancient sculpture of a horse on top of a bird. Unfortunately, the sculpture was under a glass case and therefore not harmed. Regardless, the protester was arrested and is currently awaiting trial in a Chinese prison.

I know what you’re all thinking, that this sounds just like the tomato soup incident with the van Vinci painting. However, those protesters were the bad guys because climate change isn’t real (It’s really just a plot by China to sell more of their cheap electric cars, go to here for more information). Which is a shame, since art is dumb and we should just blow up old stuff, so they would’ve been pretty cool if that was about China or Russia or something.

Anyways, the protester was put into jail but many terminally online Americans are now protesting for his freedom. As one anonymous liberal put it, “I’m not buying any more Chinese products until they release that guy.”