I really loved A Psalm for the Wild-Built by Becky Chambers.

It hit me right at a time when I needed it, and made me feel that change might actually be ok.

I don’t really notice that I’m thirsty, so I used to go full work days without drinking anything other than a glass of water that my colleague gave me at lunch, then feeling strangely tired when going home.

The end result was a kidney stone. After that painful experience, I always have a bottle of water in my office, and make sure that I drink one bottle before lunch and another in the afternoon.

On days off from work, I still forget to drink, because I don’t have my water bottle there to remind me.

At my age, this has happened more times than I care to admit. With some people, it’s like no time passed at all, and everything is great.

With others, it has become very evident why we lost touch.

I haven’t discovered a way of seeing who is what type without just trying to reconnect and seeing what happens.

I run into this in periods due to working too much and just not having the energy. The key for me is to give up on any intellectual ambitions for a while, and just go for something that’s quick and easy to read.

After I’ve started reading regularly again, I can then ramp up the difficulty until I suddenly reach that stage again where I feel like “it’s weird how I just don’t read anymore”, and I have to start over.

Thank you, that’s a helpful analogy. I’m self taught in most of the things that I enjoy, but since this is something that I don’t enjoy, I might try to find myself a coach for this one. :)

That’s a good point. I should change my ambitions and join something more local and regular instead of trying to break through instantly at a thing with 2000+ people.

You’re making a lot of sense. I also struggle with phone calls, and the only way that I’ve found to make them work is to take out something that I can take notes on (or I will forget what was said during the conversation), and then just dial the number before I even have time to think about it.

It can be hard to remember in the moment, but I try to remind myself that the other person probably also wants the conversation to succeed.

Thank you. Looking at my own progression, it actually makes a lot of sense that practice without feeling anxious won’t help (apart from training on what to say, or for example spotting when people lose interest because a story becomes too detailed.) I can talk all I want with those people I feel comfortable with, or in situations that I know how to navigate. As soon as someone I’m not comfortable with shows up, I still go numb.

So the only way to break down the barrier is to deliberately and repeatedly set it up and punch through it. I think I have something that could work for that, which happens regularly and which I have sort of wished that I could be a part of. Do you think it’s possible for me to practice by myself, or do I need a therapist in the mix?