Always up for a chat
I know what you mean, but it would depend on my current situation. Assuming I’ve had to find another job with short notice (and I’m still in my probation period) it could be a great opportunity to leverage a massive pay increase, then spend the next year planning a proper move.
I wouldn’t list it as separate employment on my CV, unless I knew it was going to be scrutinised, in which case, it’s easily explained and reflects pretty well - they wanted me back.
I used to meet a lot of these people in the office. They’d resign themselves to their situations and blame everyone else.
When I come across it now, I’ll listen and then ask what could make it better. 50% of the time it’s “does not compute” + excuses.
Choose to watch 2hrs Netflix every night or settle for a crappy job or relationship? Go for it, I’m not judging you. removed that it’s your only option? Nope.
I used to think that’s all I had the energy to do. Turns out reading a couple chapters, learning a bit of guitar, going on a short walk, journalling… all takes minimal mental and physical energy, but feels 10x better to do. I got stuck in shitty habits and convinced myself that’s all I could do.
Coddling has the negative connotation - to consistently overprotect. Occasional spoiling is an entirely different and good thing.
You missed my point. I’m ignoring nothing, I’m suggesting OP seek out men who will be supportive, because they’re not hard to find.
I’m certain I could find studies as proof, but don’t we all already know this to be true?
Plenty of men can deal with this, and plenty of women can’t. It’s not helpful to see this as a gender thing, you’ll only feel more alienated. You might want to seek out some new social connections?
I’ve been though divorce recently and despite being very amicable, it’s caused me to reset - some things broke, but being more emotionally open has been one of the good things. I’m still pretty reserved but a few things are different:
As an aside, I never watched much porn because I found it so cold and alienating. It’s interesting that you found the opposite. Anyway, I’ll stop there and wish you well!
That’s a very good idea. Hopefully I’ll never need it, but great advice.
Haha, yeah you might be onto something there. It felt like a way to pull the rug from under people to see how they cope, which wasn’t nice. I try to put people at ease in interviews, rather than try to catch them out.
I was ambushed with a “so, what do you do for fun?” once and the sudden context switch made me pause for so long that I must’ve seemed like I had no life outside of work 😬
Fair enough, I’ve been in those situations, that can be tough
The only possible use I could imagine, was to test how people respond to irrelevant stupid questions, since that happens a lot in some workplaces. Do they get frustrated and make it awkward, or shrug it off politely.
In my industry, practical interviews are very common, but they’re not always reliable. I can get as much from asking someone about their process and being talked through a case study they’ve chosen, as giving them a practical exercise to perform on the spot. I’d usually do both.
I’m not disagreeing with the overall inefficiency and frustration of the whole process, I’ve felt it on both sides. It’s messy - bad or overstretched HR teams, slow managers, unclear budgets, poor choice of tech platforms…
Don’t you think most people need to understand shit to move on? If you just ask urgent questions, then take time to digest the meeting and ask those insightful followups in a team chat, it filters out the 75% of the crap you were going to say.
Having a reputation as the guy who prolongs meetings with 25% dumb questions and 25% jokes is not a good thing.
That’s terrible, I hope it all worked out, but absolutely never say anything until you’ve both signed a contract unless you’re looking for a counter offer, which is risky AF.
People pull out of informal agreements all the time, it’s not an employer thing - legal issues, real estate, appointments, competition prizes, dates…
I feel like these are the real issues - I can’t tell how much of OP is meant to be a joke … “You forget to check the website and you miss the time”. I mean, that’s on you. Also it’s often easy to blag the magic words an interviewer wants to hear, the real danger is that the job is NOT as advertised.
The number of interviews I used to sit in on, and wonder WTF the interviewer was thinking… One asked a service designer “if you were a type of cake, what would you be?”
After a couple of bad questions, I’ll either excuse myself, suggest we carry on separately, or (ideally) ask to be sent a list, for me to ignore at my leisure.
Sorry Greg, we’re not here to answer your dumbass questions, or indulge your hypothetical edge cases.
See, there’s a huge different for me between “people” and “my people” - they can be two separate groups of strangers, but I can tell them apart in seconds.
In the rare times I want to socialise, my quest is to minimise contact with the former and maximize the latter.
I’m about half way in, and the acting has been patchy - the guys playing Trumbull and Sims are bad, but when contrasted with Tim Robbins and Rebecca Ferguson, they come off a lot worse.
Maybe it’s because I’m in a UX team and you hit a nerve, but “pull them into a quick meeting” summarizes my contempt for office life. The lack of boundaries and constant distraction was relentless.
I’ve met many Susies who, like me, dreaded the “Hey Suze, you got a minute?” because everyone vaguely recalls that we’ve worked on something related to their project. It was not as valuable or productive as you think. Pinging the person on Teams and not expecting an instant reply was the right thing to do, even back in the old days.
My kids are 3 (girl) and 7 (boy), here are a few low effort things things that would win mine over:
If you want them to like you, you really just have to get down to their level and show genuine interest, or ask to join in. If that all sounds too much, then maybe it’s not going to happen.
If successful, you might need to gently set some boundaries… But hopefully you form a nice bond with them. You don’t have be an extrovert for kids to like you - I’m a firm introvert, and kids seem to gravitate towards me, like cats.