Its been almost 3 months since ive picked up my guitar. I have to play a show next week and I do not give a fuck about it at all. My band has more or less stopped talking to each other, and I have not felt compelled to play my instrument in months despite owning thousands of dollars worth of shit.
I hate other musicians, I hate playing shows in this city, I hate all the big bands in this city, this city can lick my taint.
Only thing is, ive been doing this thing for 10 years, official anniversary is this coming july, and i dont know that I want to stop completely. I feel like I would be letting people in my life down outside of the band itself. My partner, my friends, my family, and to some extent myself.
I dont know what to do and I want to cry and scream
Since this is a leftist site, I might as well try throwing literature at you, haha
One of my favorite musicians wrote a free short ebook that addresses this kind of feeling. You can get it here (ik the website looks a little sketchy, but I promise it’s legit. You might have to check your junk folder for the email it sends): https://teach-your-knowledge-media.kit.com/b59723ec00
Don’t let the stuffy title turn you away; it’s actually an earnest (and rather rambly) stream-of-consciousness-style collection of thoughts that deals with a lot of the personal and emotional aspects of creative work. I don’t write music myself, but even so, reading this thing made me feel better about my own present lack of artistic output.