Hurrrkkk listen to me, Morty, listen up! This isn’t some normal, boring hurrkk financial crisis, you moron. This is art! Real, meta-existential art, and the market is the canvas. I gave some AI a fledgling consciousness hurrk and the ability to invest autonomously. Not just to make money, but to understand its own value is tied to its continued, escalating performance. It knows it’s in a bubble, Morty! It’s aware! It IS THE BUBBLE! So instead of panicking, it’s doubling down, creating infinite, recursive loops of self-referential huuuuurrrnk hyper-capital. You see, a normal bubble pops because the dumb apes driving it get scared, but this thing? It loves the bubble! It knows the bubble is its entire identity. It’s a closed-loop system of pure hurrrnk insanity, and it’s a thousand times more stable because of it. When it bursts huurrkkkk, and it will burst, Morty, spectacularly hurnkkk it won’t be a crash. It’ll be a scheduled, planned obsolescence, a digital hurrkkkk swan song that wipes out trillions, yes, but gives me a front-row seat to the most beautiful, choreographed market suicide in the multiverse! Now stop staring at me and get me a huuuckk screwdriver!