I gave up weed since I was a teenager. I have a very active inner monologue, my therapists have always said that I intellectualise everything, which isn’t a good thing. Weed smoking just makes my inner demons even louder, me more anxious, and the over analysing even more over done. Maybe it’ll be different because it’s been 20 years, and supposedly cannibis breeding has made strains that don’t make you paranoid???
NOPE
Thankfully I didn’t take bong rips like 18 year old me used to. (Do you all even still call them bong rips). Even just a couple of puffs brought back the old self hatred and paranoia.
The only good thing is that middle aged me is better at arguing against my inner demons than teenager me. My life sucks because this system sucks, not because I suck. Some people hate me because they’re materially comfortable descendants of settlers and colonisers who still take the side of empire in 2025. I’m lonely because this system is alienating AF.
I put on positive commie music for two hours and sang along, literally crying for much of it. I feel asleep to Columbo.
tldr: if weed made you paranoid at 18, it might still make you paranoid in your 40s.
I mean, there absolute is something out there that can get you high and not necessarily set off the same sort of paranoia, but if you find it that intensely distressing then it might not be worth it for you to try and shop around. If you think you could tolerate a few bouts of paranoia though then it might be worth it, if you have access to a dispensary, to try to compare a wider variety
The thing is though everyone’s brains are a little different and what might be calming for someone might be too much of some cannabinoid or another for you. You’re throwing a shitload of cannabinoids at your brain that basically all start flipping a bunch of switches changing how you process information and there’s no 1-1 comparison you can really necessarily make between how people will react every time. Hell, it might even be distressing and paranoia inducing for you just to notice that change in how you process information, because it’s something you’re not used to. Like I basically can’t trip on hallucinogens anymore because when I start noticing it, it distresses me, and I basically spend the entire time locked in “trying to control my shit” mode.
Also I probably wouldn’t bother trying more if you don’t have access to a dispensary, like, even then I’m skeptical how good the quality control is at ensuring everything is at the exact same ratio of cannabinoids (at least without it being an extracted/processed product, you know), but if you’re just relying on dealers, unless they’re growing it themselves (and testing it and shit to make sure it’s consistent) then I really doubt they even know what they’re selling you.
P.s. are you smoking with a friend? If you try again, smoke ONE HIT (not “a couple puffs,”) and hang out with someone you know and trust. Treat that shit like a real hallucinogen, set and setting and all that.
Same.
Me three