I swear, every time I try to make friends, it doesn’t go how I expect to and I lose all the effort I put in as they leave for circumstances outside my control, and i’m damn tired tbh :(
I swear, every time I try to make friends, it doesn’t go how I expect to and I lose all the effort I put in as they leave for circumstances outside my control, and i’m damn tired tbh :(
The key is repeated interaction. Better to join a group that meets regularly and let friendships with other attendees build naturally than to try to make friends with an individual you don’t have a reason to see frequently.
I try to do that yeah, but problem is that every friendship that I try that with basically has always died out the instant I leave that environment, like when I lost basically all my friends graduating from high school. It’s not that they don’t care about other people as well, just me it feels like… That’s also why I’ve been DMing a group for D&D though.
That’s really tough, I’m sorry. I guess the solution in that case is to try to find a sustainable environment that you don’t have to leave. High school and other educational environments are inherently time limited. What might be better is some kind of club or group outside of a school or work context that you might need to move on from. Idk what you’re into - examples of that kind of thing for me have been the DSA, Less Wrong meetup groups, weekly ultimate frisbee meetups, that sort of thing. Meetup.com is a good resource if you want to browse options. A regular D&D group would certainly be a good idea, the difficulty is just getting that going in the first place - especially hard if you’re not coming to it with a deep friend bench.
Sir… (said I, “or Madam truly-”)
I believe you have identified the issue exactly. How does a person do this “natural” thing or, if it does somehow happen, how does a person avoid interfering with its progress?
I use he/sir pronouns.
Keep hanging out with the same people and it just happens. Or maybe you’re not compatible and you’ll never be friends with those people. Without knowing you better I can’t give you any particular recommendations on how to make yourself compatible with more people beyond trying to be an enjoyable person to be around. Could be good to just try out a few of this sort of meetups and stick with whichever it feels like you’re getting along with people best at.