“We’re getting rid of the Google, folks. We’re going to bring back Jeeves the butler. We’re going to ask him things again. You know, nobody asked him a thing since 2005, that’s elder abuse. Just like they did to Sleepy Joe. But I know from experience, if you want to get something done right, you send your butler to do it, and I have the best butlers folks, let me tell you. Maids too. They’re so beautiful and handsome, some of the biggest and beautifulist folks. They leave me a little mint on my pillow every day, it’s amazing. But that’s what we’re going to do with all these tremendous webs on the Internet. We’re going to Ask Jeeves.”

Edit: Somehow I made him way more coherent. They should pay me to write his speeches in his manner of speech.