The next step is to forge your own meaning. It doesn’t stop at “there is no meaning”. Once you see the void you can also see that there is space to build and no zoning code to stop you. You can, must in fact, decide why you choose to live, why you choose to act and how you justify your actions. You are the ultimate and only authority.

That’s really hard. We’re used to always being able to lean on something outside ourselves for purpose and guidance. And, to some extent, you still can. Back when you believed in external, inate authorities you were choosing what you believed. Those powers, whatever they were, were never real. You were to some extent projecting your own beliefs, desires, and ideals on to those things; church, state, god, whatever.

Find those childlike beliefs and clean the ichor of false gods off of them. Look at them from every angle. Decide which ones to keep, which ones to discard, and what you need to build from scratch. Whatever you come up with, polish it until it shines. Like a blade.

Another suggestion; check out Buddhism. The Buddhists figured out the same premise from a different angle thousands of years ago. The more grounded, secular forms of buddhism have a lot to say about confronting the void of meaning and carrying on in the aftermath.

May I introduce you to the immortal dialectical science of Marxism-Leninism?

I say that half in jest, but becoming active in a communist organization really did give me a worthwhile purpose to my life and something greater to strive for.

“nothing matters” is scope error. fortunately (or unfortunately depending on your perspective) we are weird creatures with desires and dreams and hopes and ways to suffer and things we like. we dont need some sort of god or higher purpose to justify our existence, just what we personally care about

it’s not about forcing yourself to be happy and make others happy. that’s an obligation, a stated goal ascribed to you despite your wishes. living without “meaning”, or more accurately objective meaning, is the opposite. it’s about doing what you want. not in a sociopathic, solipsistic way, where you dismiss others and any concept of morality out of hand. but almost as play. not that you don’t take anything seriously, mind you, but almost in that you are pursuing your whims as if you were playing a game of Minecraft. Everyone agrees destroying people’s stuff in that game is a dick move, right? And people work together to do random shit in that game all the time. We’re basically (or trying to be) playing Minecraft but the stakes are waaaaaay higher and we’re also witness to an unbelievable amount of suffering caused by structures of capital which supress all of our natural urges unless they can be fully subsumed towards profit.

and this doesn’t even mean that we can’t live without a “higher calling” or “noble purpose”, just that those are goals we become attached to and find worth and joy in naturally, not things we have prescribed to us as a required thing.

we are under no obligation to rationalize our desires and wishes, except when they come into direct conflict with other’s, or when other’s suffering and pain would be a direct result. and i honestly think this is true even if there was a god. Who is a god to prescribe the purpose of our existence to us? Is it just because God is more powerful than us and made us? Powerful people who make things are wrong all the time about those things. Is it because God is meant to be always right? According to whom? In whose interest? For what goals? Unless this God has all goals, that could ever be possible, simultaneously. Which is an absurd and incomprehensible concept. This God would still have no authority over what our goals are, merely the ability to suggest (though in a God’s case, very strongly, but still). Just like everyone else.

So what difference even is it for the world to have a meaning made by God or somebody or to have none at all? You’d have to subjectively accept that God’s goals as being your own, just like you have to for basically everything.

So the only conclusion I can make is that the lack of a God or a lack of truth or meaning means we are free, not doomed. If there is no god, then that God cannot coerce us to follow their arbitrary goals. And if there is no divine, objective meaning we must ALL follow or be punished, than what we want can be our priority. We can make our whole, all-encompassing, undeniably real and objectively true meaning(s) anything our whims pull us towards. Not in a “living in the moment” milquetoast way (i am not attacking mindfulness btw, just the idea that it’s the only respite from meaninglessness or whatever), but in a genuine, powerful, driving and future-acknowledging way that we are supposed to exclusively reserve for “true meaning”. And nobody can take that away from you, because nihilism doesn’t, nor christianity, nor capitalism, nor any philosophical concept known to man, have anything that can debunk or disprove that. We, you, everyone has genuinely good reasons and drives to want the things we want, to have the meanings we find meaning in. To deny that is a fundamental denial of reality, a fundamental denial of one’s very self, not in an enlightened way but in a sad way caused by domination, driven by the constant overshadowing influence of a dead God and a very much alive and very malicious Capital which urges us to justify our every actions and wish. But we don’t have to. We can tell it to fuck off and then we can continue drawing pictures of garfield making out with sans (and then fighting for communism because adobe just sent all of your garfield pictures to some ai chatbot to regurgitate and fuck us all over with infinite slop).

to me absurdism isn’t so much about looking at existential meaningless light-heartedly as it is about reconciling with the notion of it—by spitting in the face of the universe’s cruel indifference and arbitrarily inventing personal meaning.

it’s like aiming to live a life that you alone feel is purposeful just because you can, in spite of the will of any higher power or lack thereof that tries to rob you of it.

girl i just get high

Marx, when talking about Louis Bonaparte, wrote “[People] make their own history, but they do not make it as they please; they do not make it under self-selected circumstances, but under circumstances existing already, given and transmitted from the past.”

Obviously, the point Marx was making here is that, we are all products of the accumulation of history. We would not be here, in the way that we are, if it were not for the never-ending march of time, and with it, our history. However, the inverse is also true, in that, the actions we take now and today, forever forge a link in the chain of history. Do not be distracted by the grandiose notion of “history”, however. History is not all things that find their way into the pages of a textbook. History is not just the epic of time, but it is also a personal and intimate story, of which you and your relations are the subject of.

So what of the links you forge? What of your familial bonds, your connections to friends, your entanglement with your greater community? Your legacy is your relations. To say nothing matters is to reject the notion that our actions in the material world have no impact on the development of ourselves and of our future selves, and the development of those we leave behind.

If you can reframe your point of view around this notion that your actions in the world lead to developments within others, then it’s difficult to see how nothing matters. Every time you show up for someone who needs assistance, it matters. Every time you take up an activity, that gives back in some way, it matters. It can be difficult to read and hear about all the events of the time we live in. It can feel as though, nothing you do moves the needle. You must take that energy and direct it locally. Once you can see the results of your local actions, you will see a change in yourself and in how you feel about what “matters”.

Nothing in nature has any intrinsic value, that doesnt mean you cant create one for yourself

I think you’re supposed to try existentialism first, then jump to absurdism.

Anyway try reading the Principia Discordia. I don’t know if it hits as hard when you’re not a fourteen year old atheist stuck in the religious south, but maybe.

Have you tried pushing that down deep and never dare confronting it?

Just imagine Sisyphus cumming or whatever the saying is

Life-hack: Whenever the ennui comes knocking, just start speculating about alien life intelligent or otherwise, you’ll either scare or awe yourself out of that depressive feeling, at least that’s what I do

One of the many problems with “stewing in ennui” types like Camus is that they represent finding meaning in life as a matter of internal psychology, not just something rational but something that is rationalized. For many people, it is engagement with the world that acts as a precondition to experiencing meaning, rather than an experience of meaning somehow preceding anything meaningful. My suggestion to you based on what you say is to go do stuff with people.

I think you need to get some shorts in a bright color, preferably flower print

I’ve been in the same boat and still am from time to time, or think I am. I’ll share my thoughts and even if they don’t apply to your situation maybe they’ll give you some ideas.

What got me into a better, though not necessarily good, state of mind was thinking about killing myself. If you can’t/won’t kill yourself, then you have to keep on living. Once you realize you have to keep living the question becomes what is the better life? Then you can rationalize that obsessing over morality/purpose is not useful especially when you know it doesn’t reach any conclusions.

If you’re spending hours trying to find the “best” thing to do, you’re wasting time that could have been spent doing good things. So really, at a certain point, obsessing over the most moral or purposeful action is really preventing you from doing good rather than facilitating it.

It’s better for you to live in the moment or even give into some (non-destructive) hedonism rather than cycle around in moral distress wasting time and only making yourself more exhausted and unhappy. Sure maybe spending time playing video games or just chillin isn’t the very best use of your time, but it’s better than being in a constant state of moral confusion and discomfort.

When you recognize that you’re having a crisis that’s not going anywhere, choose to let it go because at least you know that will make you feel more relaxed. Try to do something that makes you happy if you need a distraction because making yourself happy is better than making yourself anxious or depressed even if it’s not the very best thing you could do.

I mean Hell, in some circumstances, choosing to make yourself happy instead of something else might be the best thing to do anyway. Happier people are able to think more clearly and act more charitably. Plus, through empathy, the people around you are affected by your mood. So even from a societal, not-selfish standpoint, choosing to be happy and relaxed or be a beacon of hope and laughter for others is much better than being depressed and adding to the melancholy of the world.

Yeah it sucks having a desire for purpose in a universe where there is no objective morality. But if you can’t bring yourself to end it, just choosing to be happy is a more moral option than choosing to wallow in sadness at that fact.

Even if you lived an otherwise average life, just trying to be hopeful and helpful will be better than stressing and obsessing over purpose.

You can also try to see it as a battle if that helps. The world is trying to make you depressed. Fascism and capitalism win if they can make you feel like there is no hope for change, no way to make the world better. Do you want them to win? Or do you want to rise up and fight to the end? Do you want to give up? No! Fight! Scream at the monsters of this world! When others lose hope you can bring it to them! Fight back against the complacency and melancholy and hopelessness of this life! Laugh! Smile! Find joy in the world and in your fellow men! Be a beacon of hope and happiness for those around you! We might lose in the end, the world may fall to pieces, maybe we’ll all die horribly, but you cannot and should not seek to control the world, but you can control your life and how you react to it. Isn’t it better to live a happy life? To die laughing rather than suffering forever? Rage against life. Mock those who try to take your happiness, who try to take your hope. Don’t give them the satisfaction. If you can do that, if you can be happy despite all the bad that surrounds you, that is a good life, a worthy life to live.

Anyway, before I give a list of reasons to keep living, I’d like to note that personally I’m not against suicide. I can’t do it and feel like living is better than not living but that’s just me. I can imagine lives I’d feel weren’t worth living, so I understand euthanasia. That being said, just in case you or anyone needs/wants reasons to live, here are some reasons not to die that might work for you:

• If you give in to the hopelessness that surrounds you, that’s kind of a defeat and I’m petty so I’d rather die fighting than lose like that.
• If life is as rare in the universe as it seems, you are one of the only beings in the entire universe who is capable of experiencing it and comprehending it. Eventually everything around you will be gone. Even the stars will fade, but you have the chance to see them. You have this one chance to experience things that may never happen again. Isn’t it a waste to cut your life short? To leave so many experiences un-lived?
• If you’re worried about morality, the world probably is better with you in it. Don’t give in to the eco-fascist whatever shit saying “humans are the virus.” Chances are any negative environmental impact your living would require is negligible compared to any major country or company. Maybe you dying would lead to people taking more flights or eating more meat just by the butterfly effect, negating any positive effects your death may have had. But see, your impact as a human being, your impact on the lives of others, even if only as a good friend, is certain to be impactful. You can help many people directly even just by being hopeful or letting them vent to you. In my opinion, even just doing those tiny things outweighs whatever chance that your death would be ever so slightly better for the world.

TL;DR: If you’re committed to not killing yourself, then you’re going to have to keep on living. If you’re going to keep on living and want to help/improve the world, just being happy will do that more than spending a lot of time and energy focusing on purpose or morality or the lack thereof would. If you need more reasons to live, thinking of happiness as a battle is a useful option. Fascism and corruption win when people give up hope. Want them to lose? Then fight. Choose to be happy, choose to be hopeful and inspire others to do the same. That is a fight worth fighting and a life worth living.

I used to be really distraught about the meaningless of life. But then one day I just woke up and thought “damn this shit sucks” and suddenly the meaning of life became pointless to me. This was before I even knew what a nihilism or camus or absurdism is.

Sorry if if didn’t help. I suppose I just found the idea of nothingness bothering me more annoying than depressing eventually.