Though I can understand wariness around men for sure, I’m not entirely sure if female separatism is anything but a niche. It frightens me too because it often comes with bioessentialist ideas that are not only transphobic but homophobic and biphobic as well. It’s also an overwhelmingly white tendency as well, ignoring that the racism that women of color experience from white “feminists” makes separatism not as ideal as it is in the shortsighted view of privileged liberal white women.
Also, to be honest, I don’t know if any female separatist organizations put into practice were ever actually trans-inclusive, and even if they were, it raises concerning questions when you go beyond trans women and start thinking about where trans men and non-binary people factor into that kind of stuff. Excluding trans men, for instance, is “affirming,” but it neglects the fact that they are deeply oppressed by patriarchy despite being men.
Female separatism has always had this “women distancing themselves from men” standpoint without a coherent analysis of intersectionality across race and genderqueer identity, and it has even consisted of heterosexual women who feign lesbianism especially since the height of such movements took place during a time where people didn’t properly comprehend that sexual orientation is not a choice.
Some women of color have made this criticism that I made about race regarding the fact that white women are members of a privileged race, so they themselves do not need to find solidarity in fighting against living through racism, but women of color absolutely need to do that, and that often means finding solidarity in fighting racism with men who are the same marginalized race as them. This is why womanist groups were seldom, if ever, fond of separatism to give an example.
I was out with some colleagues, most of them younger than me. there was a discussion about their husbands doing dumb stuff and how they, as a couple, had already had “the talk” about how their lives were far too entertwined with multiple kids, assets and finances to ever consider divorce anymore. it was so grim to me. I made a joke about “Metal Marriage… til DEATH do us part” and got laughs.
also, being older, I’ve known people who said the same shit and were divorced like 5 years later.
as a child of divorced parents, the way some people talk about their marriages gives me anxiety.
I literally know several married women in my life that are still together with their husbands for that exact reason.
To the point where that seems to be more common than not… scary to think about.
And we wonder why so many women are choosing to avoid marriage altogether
Though I can understand wariness around men for sure, I’m not entirely sure if female separatism is anything but a niche. It frightens me too because it often comes with bioessentialist ideas that are not only transphobic but homophobic and biphobic as well. It’s also an overwhelmingly white tendency as well, ignoring that the racism that women of color experience from white “feminists” makes separatism not as ideal as it is in the shortsighted view of privileged liberal white women.
That makes a lot of sense. I didn’t think of that.
Also, to be honest, I don’t know if any female separatist organizations put into practice were ever actually trans-inclusive, and even if they were, it raises concerning questions when you go beyond trans women and start thinking about where trans men and non-binary people factor into that kind of stuff. Excluding trans men, for instance, is “affirming,” but it neglects the fact that they are deeply oppressed by patriarchy despite being men.
Female separatism has always had this “women distancing themselves from men” standpoint without a coherent analysis of intersectionality across race and genderqueer identity, and it has even consisted of heterosexual women who feign lesbianism especially since the height of such movements took place during a time where people didn’t properly comprehend that sexual orientation is not a choice.
Some women of color have made this criticism that I made about race regarding the fact that white women are members of a privileged race, so they themselves do not need to find solidarity in fighting against living through racism, but women of color absolutely need to do that, and that often means finding solidarity in fighting racism with men who are the same marginalized race as them. This is why womanist groups were seldom, if ever, fond of separatism to give an example.
I was out with some colleagues, most of them younger than me. there was a discussion about their husbands doing dumb stuff and how they, as a couple, had already had “the talk” about how their lives were far too entertwined with multiple kids, assets and finances to ever consider divorce anymore. it was so grim to me. I made a joke about “Metal Marriage… til DEATH do us part” and got laughs.
also, being older, I’ve known people who said the same shit and were divorced like 5 years later.
as a child of divorced parents, the way some people talk about their marriages gives me anxiety.
That’s why I’m scared of ever becoming a father.
It’s terrifying honestly…
My mom moved hundreds of miles away as soon as my sister graduated high school 🙃