Negative validation? When your gender gets validated due to a negative circumstance, like a trans woman experiencing misogyny, for instance.

This is a bit of a follow-up to my last post and even this post.

In the “When the gender euphoria hits just right” post, I stated that I went on a video chat site, sorta like Omegle. As you can see in that post, I got validated because I didn’t speak, so they only found my gender ambiguous on the basis of looks, but not voice. Well, because of the revelation of the “My voice is in an androgynous range.” post, I wanted to test out how androgynous the voice could sound to other people, and apparently, it did, but the way I found out wasn’t very pretty.

I opened a chat with this man who started by saying “Hey, beautiful,” which was uncomfortable from the start, but I played along. I greeted him with my voice, and then he noticed my voice didn’t sound super feminine, but it didn’t sound masculine either, so he asked “Are you male or female?”, which was validating, of course, but I asked him, “What do you think I am?”

He then said, “I can’t tell,” and then he said:

He said that’s the way he wanted to know my “true” gender. I was weirded out as fuck, so I think I got enough validation from that site. I won’t be going back to it.

It was simultaneously disgusting and euphoric, but expecting people to not be perverted on these kinds of sites is like expecting fish to not swim I guess!