“Quickly, quickly now!” I shout, pushing my girlfriend into the bathroom and slamming the door behind me.

“Dan, are we…are we gonna die?”

“Melissa, babe, no…we’re not gonna die.” I shout over the sound of debris falling into the fire outside. Bending behind the toilet, I grab the bath mouthpiece and fish it

alright i started typing this with the intention to end it with a bunch of firefighters finding our charred corpses around the toilet with the bath mouthpiece and going “wow that’s stupid as shit there was a window right there” but my adhd said otherwise.