i figured it out last year. I was working in harm reduction and the place I was working also has a trans advocacy group. so we got a presentation about trans acceptance and how to deal with it in our workplace. part if the presentation was on what it means to be trans, saying that the only requirement was identifying differently than what you were assigned at birth.
thru my 20s I often thought something like “I would totally identify as non binary now if I was aware of the concept when I was younger.” I could nor relate to cis people who were confident in the gender binary, but more importantly I couldn’t relate to trans people who were assigned a gender at birth but KNEW they were a different gender. Like if someone was trans and said “I always knew I was a boy” it was completely alien to me, having grown up AMAB I never once felt like I was a boy. Trans people were having gender certainty I had never experienced.
Non binary never hit quite right tho, I felt like there was still some level of gender occurring, and I didn’t understand it. So…
I’m agender. No gender here lol. I’m not trying to do anything about it. In life I go by he him and it doesn’t bother me at all. It correctly identifies my physicality, my male privilege, etc. Sometimes I think maybe I should insist on they them because it would help normalize different pronouns, but honestly just like not really feeling being nonbinary, it doesn’t bother me at all when I’m referred to as him. Its a word, that doesn’t reflect my lack of gender but doesn’t matter to me.
I’ve never told anyone this before lol. So I’m still new at thinking about what this means.
I sorta thought of myself like that when I was younger. Somehow I’m now more confused. I currently think my gender confusion is (in my specific case only) a product of mental issues and self-loathing.
Identifying as nonbinary basically isn’t an option where I live. Daily interactions would become instantly standoffish and I would be treated as an outsider. Nobody would take it seriously, and I don’t even think it would be worth anything to me. Do people openly identify as enby outside of queer or younger circles? How does that go?
I wear various jewelry or other apparel that says ‘they/them’ but otherwise am pretty AFAB presenting and no one says shit in my backwards cow town, not even my mechanic.
That’s swag
I have multiple people at my office who are way younger (college age) and they identify as non-binary and are respected by everyone there. I wish I was as brave as they are but I guess I’m still coming to terms with myself.