[CW: Exclusionary rhetoric, enbyphobia, and transphobia]

spoiler

I am welcome here and valid as a non-binary person, right?

I consider myself transgender, and I’ve been invalidated by some other trans people who told me that I don’t “count” as trans simply because I’m non-binary, despite being trans by

  • dictionary definition (identifying with a gender that does not align with my assigned sex at birth)
  • experience (social, medical and legal transition, all the stress [including financial] alongside it, and my family being viciously transphobic towards me)
  • and self-identification (I consider myself to be trans)

I have to ask because I used to assume that was granted in most trans communities, but after being excluded from many of them and told some transphobic things more harsh than anything cis people have told me even, I remain alert and skeptical whenever I encounter a new online community for trans people (or even queer people period).

    • Angel [any]@hexbear.netOPM
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      31
      ·
      edit-2
      4 months ago

      There are a lot of things I don’t see the point of, but people still engage in them anyway. Things being pointless don’t stop a lot of people lmao.

  • ashinadash [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    33
    ·
    4 months ago

    Anybody who thinks nonbinary people are not trans

    A) has a fundamental misunderstanding of what being trans even is

    B) deserves the gulag I’m pretty sure

    I’m always on watch for people who do queer disunity things like this, very scuffed. Dividing trans people like this cannot be a good thing. We all need eachother.

    • Angel [any]@hexbear.netOPM
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      20
      ·
      edit-2
      4 months ago

      From what I’ve noticed, anti-NB trans people love goalpost movements and no true Scotsman arguments.

      spoiler

      Regarding goalpost movements, I’ve literally had arguments that go like:

      Me: I’m non-binary and trans.

      Enbyphobe: No! You can’t be non-binary AND trans because non-binary people don’t have dysphoria!

      Me: But I do have dysphoria. It’s been hurting me for a long time, it’s been diagnosed by multiple professionals, and I am currently undergoing medical and social transition to alleviate it.

      Enbyphobe: Uh… well, you’re still not trans because [insert arbitrary, extreme grasping at straws, insanely outlandish mental gymnastics redefinition of their criteria for being “validly” trans]


      And the no true Scotsman approach?

      Me: I’m non-binary and trans.

      Enbyphobe: No! You can’t be non-binary AND trans because non-binary people don’t have dysphoria!

      Me: But I do have dysphoria. It’s been hurting me for a long time, it’s been diagnosed by multiple professionals, and I am currently undergoing medical and social transition to alleviate it.

      Enbyphobe: Then you’re either lying about being non-binary or you’re lying about having dysphoria.


      You can’t win with these people, so I just moved away from all spaces that perceived gatekeeping to even be slightly acceptable in their eyes. It took me a lot of time to undo the mentality that I don’t “belong” to the trans community, and that was isolating because a lot of cishet people didn’t show me a lot of love either. I’m glad a lot of people here are supportive. It gives me more confidence that I can be properly uplifted here.

      Transmedicalism is obviously the cause of this, and the premise that transmedicalism operates under, in and of itself, is false, but it’s also problematic because they don’t live up to said premise at face value anyway:

      They say “All we, as transmeds, believe is simply that you need dysphoria to be trans! That’s it!”, which, like I said, is already a false premise in and of itself, but it gets worse when you consider that when someone who is dysphoric doesn’t meet a certain and particular assimilationist narrative around being trans, be it through them being GNC, non-binary, undergoing transition in an unconventional way, all of the above or something else, they then decide that their dysphoria doesn’t truly “count” as real dysphoria.

      It’s wild how this needless division has become an actual issue worth addressing when it shouldn’t be an issue to begin with. It’s like a fish telling another fish that it’s not a fish just because it has scales and the other fish doesn’t have scales.

        • Angel [any]@hexbear.netOPM
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          8
          ·
          4 months ago

          Yeah, that’s what I meant in that portion:

          Transmedicalism is obviously the cause of this, and the premise that transmedicalism operates under, in and of itself, is false, but it’s also problematic because they don’t live up to said premise at face value anyway:

          They say “All we, as transmeds, believe is simply that you need dysphoria to be trans! That’s it!”, which, like I said, is already a false premise in and of itself, but it gets worse when you consider that when someone who is dysphoric doesn’t meet a certain and particular assimilationist narrative around being trans, be it through them being GNC, non-binary, undergoing transition in an unconventional way, all of the above or something else, they then decide that their dysphoria doesn’t truly “count” as real dysphoria.

  • Tommasi [she/her]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    27
    ·
    4 months ago

    Yes! It’s a community for all trans people, including non-binary people.

    It must suck to have had to deal with that kind of bigotry from what should be trans-friendly communities, I’m sure the mods here wouldn’t tolerate anything like that.

  • bestesttrash [she/her]@hexbear.net
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    27
    ·
    4 months ago

    I’m sry some of our uneducated and unsympathetic comrades attempted to exclude you. Sometimes It can take a bit to realize that gender constructs you were raised to believe are incorrect and damaging. People can be assholes about this kinda stuff but make no mistake your not only welcome here but also a comrade and I love all my trans comrades

  • tactical_trans_karen [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.netM
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    14
    ·
    edit-2
    4 months ago

    Anyone being bigoted or transphobic on this site will be met with extreme prejudice to the point they will be crying by the time we ban them… Which will be a matter of minutes.

    Edit: to clarify, this includes NB, bi gender, gender fluid, agender, two spirit, and the multitude of other gender identities.