Mainly here, but now that i think about it IRL sucks too. Its far too fucking easy for me to get mad, especially if someone found a trauma trigger. Being a communist sucks as an autistic person in general, im doomed to be shit at it. Won’t stop me from trying, though.

  • stigsbandit34z [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    11 months ago

    Godamn same here. Learning that I am autistic as an adult though has made me look back at those childhood outbursts and realize that I was mad at fundamentally flawed systems that didn’t work for me. Growing up as a guy, I wasn’t taught to manage my emotions, I was taught that being vulnerable specifically would be met with disapproval. But it really does get more interesting because I know for certain my parents would be horrified if they knew I ever felt that way, the thing is that I wasn’t taught exclusively by my parents. I went to school like everyone else and behaved like everyone else (I don’t think I gained a sense of outspokenness until later in life).

    But jfc looking back on it, kids absolutely bodied those that were different. I think that’s why I learned to mask so well (ironically though I’m really bad at it as a grown ass guy). I think this is why I’m hypersensitive about bigotry and think it should be seen as extremely harmful. Christ, yeah I was mad because I could never be my real self without getting ridiculed by someone else